I have a friend who shares his thoughts online. Rather like a journal on social media if you will. Things he ponders, he tends to share with others. Not much different than what we do here. Recently, some of his ‘friends’ have disowned him over this practice. Mind you, nothing is posts is hateful or too over the top. They were merely offended that he was sharing what was in his head. How has it come to this? In a world where it would benefit us greatly if we knew more of what others were thinking, why is this so offensive to others?
He seemed rather unphased by the whole event. This is the right way to go about it. Certainly, those people have a right to stop being his friend. The actions themselves rather confused me. We are supposed to put an accent on mental health and creating an environment where people feel safe to express themselves. Even if you don’t always agree with someone, it is important to let them express their emotions. It would be a great tragedy if we all were forced to be repressed. It would lead to far greater anger.
The point of this post is a quick reminder to encourage everyone, be that friend, spouse or child, to express themselves. It not only is positive for the mental health of that person, but it will strengthen and help the relationship between the two of you. Lack of communication is one of the greatest causes of arguments, lose of friendship and loss of love. If there is one simple thing we can do, that is to listen to and respect one another.
In addition to being a future best-selling author, blog writer, podcast host and postal employee, I also DJ on Sunday with my lovely lady. It would not be my first choice of how to spend a Sunday with her, but she is happy and that is what matters to me. While there, I do my best to positively impact the lives of all those who attend. My goal is to have them feeling better when they leave, than when they arrived. If a couple comes, I do my best to assist them in seeing the miracle they have in their partner. When I am successful with either of these, it brings me a great deal of joy as well. To that end, I do my best to offer encouragement and genuine compliments to those I talk to. In regards to this, gender doesn’t matter. Race is not a factor. What faith they follow? Not very important. As we discussed last post, I believe each person has a great deal of value, whether we are privileged to see it or not.
The importance of this was driven home to me the other night by someone I had never met. Margie and I have a friend Nicci. She is a teacher and was about to leave to take some of her students overseas to Italy and Greece. This is incredible. I think it is so valuable to be exposed to different cultures at a young age. I give credit to Nicci and the other chaperones for taking the responsibility for these children on this trip. Before her departure, Nicci had ben kind enough to hang out with my lovely lady and I. She invited several friends and coworkers to join her in this sort of impromptu Bon Voyage party. It was one of these people that generated today’s post.
As we were going through the evening, I was doing my best to help each person to see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. One gentleman, Tyler, happened to notice. He also is a DJ and mentioned how much he appreciated the kind words. He also mentioned something that I think is very important for us to take notice of.
Tyler mentioned how rare it is for men to uplift each other. Today’s world can be filled with sarcasm, competition, and all to often, mean spirited banter. Men have a hard enough time expressing their emotions, let alone paying a genuine compliment to other men. We need to make this more of a normal occurrence. Women, if you think this post is just for the men, think again.Encouraging your husband, son or even your father to pay a genuine compliment to another gent may be one of the most important things you can do. Help show them this is not something that makes them less masculine, but quite the opposite.
As a gentleman, I can promise you that is offers a certain amount of pride when another man offers you a genuine compliment. It also shows a great deal about their character as well. Gentleman, when you compliment another man it demonstrates your confidence in yourself not only to them, but to anyone else who is listening. It shows that you understand that highlighting someone’s worth does not diminish your own. Let us all work to create a society where men feel both safe, as well as compelled, to pay another man a genuine compliment. Thank you Tyler for this great reminder.
Today, we are going to discuss a very important subject – worth. In the world we live in, the value of certain things has slowly become eroded. If I were to ask you about the two objects in the photo above, which would you say is worth more, the diamond or the bottle of water? If you are a rational person, I would think you would choose the diamond. After all, with a diamond like that, you could buy many bottles of water. This is not the entire story.
It is our current situation that determines the value we place on certain things.If you were alone in the desert and someone offered you a diamond or a bottle of water, I am guessing you would choose the water. In the desert, you could die of thirst before you find someone to exchange your diamond for a bottle of water. If you had a diamond and you were dying of thirst in the desert, you would gladly exchange it for a bottle of water. In the desert, the diamond would be of little, to no use. The water bottle, however, could save your life.
Here is today’s point, the same is true with people. The value of individual life is nothing short of a sacred thing. Each one of us is valuable in our own way. Many people may appear more like a diamond, but their value is limited to a certain situation. Perhaps you find your boss a clueless and micromanaging fool. Yet, that person may be the most caring parent or grandparent. The server who provided terrible service to you at dinner last night? They might be the caring friend who is providing a lifeline to someone who is barely holding on. We do not always see the value of someone. That does not mean they do not have value. The same is true for us. Just because someone does not see your value does not mean you are not valuable.
In today’s crazy world, let us all remember that each one of us is extremely valuable. Someone’s inability to see your worth does not diminish it. The same holds true for others. Our inability to see the value in another person may just be that, our inability. We can’t see our boss at home with their grandchildren. We can’t hear that rude server offering words of hope and encouragement to their friend. As we go through life, let us understand each one of us, even those we cannot see, have a great amount of value. Let us all treat each other with that in mind.
Above is a picture from an Ethiopian coffee shop that Margie and I visited the other day. I’ve been drinking coffee for years, Margie had really just started to get into it. We have tried many different kinds of coffee. My personal favorite is Jamaican Blue Mountain. We have never had anything like this coffee before.
Not only was the coffee unique, but they served it with some incense and other details that set it apart. The atmosphere and service in the coffee shop was wonderful. There were small food items to try as well. We relaxed and had a great time.
The point of this post is to remind you of thebenefits of trying something new. Would I switch to this coffee everyday? No. What was nice is having this experience and sharing it with the lady I love. Keep an open mind and try something new in your world. Feel free to share an experience where you tried something new and the joy it brought you.
Today is an event that happens but once a year. I run a 5k. Let it be known that in no way am I a runner. Yes, I do go to the gym 3 days a week, but I look far more like the second picture than the first. My goal is always to run the 3.2 miles in less than 30 minutes. Depending on your fitness level, this could seem like nothing or an impossibility. With my asthma and over indulgence in pizza, it is at the edge of my ability. What it does do is give me a goal to push towards. I have yet to achieve it, but always try.
Here is the great thing about having this goal, and even about not achieving it. Forever am I realizing there are ways in which I can improve. Eat better, train better and find ways to improve my breathing. Still, pushing yourself can have such amazing benefits. I encourage all of us to try this. It does not have to even be something physical. It can be pushing ourselves to write 1000 words a day towards our new book. It can be forcing ourselves to clean for 30 minutes a day. Maybe reading a couple of pages every night.
Whatever seems at the edge of our ability to do, we should try to do that. It is the only way to expand and improve our life. If we constantly stay in our comfort zone, our life will not only fail to expand, but we will also never feel the pride that comes with accomplishing something we never thought we could.
This is a new quote to me, but what a great thought. If you never push yourself, you may never see what is holding you back. Not exactly sure what the percentage is, but I would wager the situations in which you, and your thoughts, are your strongest chains is above 90%. There are many times that I am looking to do something I have never done before and the reasons are often clouded over in my mind. This is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who will help improve your life, as we noted last post.
In my life, there have been many examples of chains that I have let hold me back. We all have them. What often surprises me is how often these chains exist in my own mind and manifest themselves as something else. I consider myself a fairly introspective individual, but we all tell ourselves little white lies to stay in our comfort zones. This is what our brains are hard-wired to do. Your mind does not want you to risk doing something that would be uncomfortable, even if it would further your life. We may believe the obstacle is outside of us, when it is really our beliefs that are keeping us from moving forward.
Let me give you 2 quick examples in my own life. I was preparing to do my first ever book signing. I was nervous as it was my first book, not to mention first book signing. It was in the sunny village of Greendale. I was going to put up flyers in some of the shops to promote it. I figured there were 2 or 3 businesses that would let me do that. With me I had this attractive lady I just started dating. She informed me that we were not going to the shops that I was sure would let me put up the signs, but we were going to ask in all of them. Informing her that is not how this small village worked, she informed me that I was just being too nervous to do so. She even promised to go in and ask for me to prove that more places would hang up one of my signs than I expected. Little did I know at the time this would consist of her getting the attention of an employee, shoving me forward and exclaiming, “This man has something to ask you.” As it turned out, all but 2 of the businesses, whom I should note are no longer in business, agreed to put one of my flyers in their windows. Proving it was my fear and not the businesses that prevented the promotion.
Another example is when I was going to start my podcast (Living the Dream with Neil Panosian) which you can find on all of your streaming platforms. Every time that I had coffee with my good friend Nick, I would tell him how I was going to start this podcast. He informed me that I had been telling him this for six months. I explained how I did not have the equipment, know exactly how to go about starting one or promote one. He countered that one is able to learn all of these things on this wonderful thing we have called the internet. Great things about friends, they call you on your B.S. when you are full of it, as Michael Franti says. Again, an assist to Margie who reminded me how right Nick was.
In our lives, it is often when we push outside our comfort zones that we realize there are chains holding us back. It can take some introspection to discover what they truly are. It may also take some hard truth from a close friend. We must keep our minds open and be honest with ourselves if we hope to free ourselves from our chains. What are some of your chains holding you back and how can you free yourself from them?
We have been advocating staying present on this site so much lately it runs the risk of becoming too familiar. Before you are tempted to dismiss this as just another post about living in the moment, I encourage you to read on. In sales, they tell you to speak about the benefits of a product before the features or the price. In other words, you paint a picture of how life will be better for your prospect before you tell them what they are getting. That is what we are doing with today’s post.
Have you ever had a day where despite challenges, you still seem to be feeling amazing and able to make it through the day with a smile? I am sure most of us have had a day like that. We have also had the opposite. Where even if things seem to be turning out well, we still don’t feel the amount of joy we should. How many of us stop and ask ourselves why this happens? Figuring out the question to this will help make our lives infinitely more full of joy, but how many of us actually do this? When we feel sick to our stomach we will spend the rest of the day analyzing what we ate to the smallest ingredient. Should we not to the same to what brings us joy?
It can be impossible to note every single detail that is occurring in our lives on the days we feel amazing. Not to mention, that would probably take a good deal of joy out of it. Instead, I will ask you to pay attention to just one detail – who you are around. They say you are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If your life is not filled with as much joy as it could be, this might be a good spot to investigate. That is not saying it excuses our own behavior, but surrounding yourself with good people who appreciate your worth will make all of the difference.
This week, take a moment to notice how the people around you have you feeling. Are there people who just put a smile on your face being around them? There are people in my life that can have me smiling just thinking about them. That is why my screensaver is my lovely lady. Just thinking about her can bring a smile on my face. How about you? Who are the people in your life who make your life amazing just by being in it?
This post is coming out on a Sunday. By this evening many of us will begin to stress about things that really do not matter. It would serve us well to take a hard look at the list above and realize that life is a lot better than we realize. Most of us have most, if not all, of the things on that list. They may seem trivial, or be taken for granted, but imagine doing without them. Each one is a huge blessing.
In a time when the world is facing war and genocide, many would give anything to have this complete list. Most of what we stress about is really not that pressing. Money can be made and lost. Jobs can come and go. The things that really matter are important to recognize and be grateful for. Do this and your week will be off to a wonderful start.
It never fails to surprise me how many people understand how important it is for a child to be surrounded by positive, nurturing people, but fail to see that it is equally important for adults as well. As we continue to make our way through this journey called ‘life’, stresses continue to mount and our responsibilities continue to grow. It seems more challenging to make friends as adults. That is why it is so critical that we surround ourselves with a healthy circle of quality people.
As adults, we also need to learn the skill of leaning on our village of friends. Asking for help is viewed by many as a weakness. It is no more of a weakness to ask help from a friend in dealing with a stressful situation than it is to ask a mechanic for help with an automotive issue. It is equally important to be a village for others who may be struggling too. Be a good fried. Listen to hear and understand, not just reply. One of the best things to do is to get together regularly with friends to share and enjoy each other’s company. The world does get busy, but this is one activity we cannot go without.
Start building your village today. Already have one? Remember to spend a little more quality time in it. Share moments with friends. Be that village for someone else as well. Schedule regular days of fun with friends. It will save your sanity and just might save your life.
Look at how happy this kid is looking at this duck. He is taking it all in. You might be thinking to yourself, “Oh, to be a kid again. ” You would be on to something. How long has it been since you looked at something with childlike wonder?
Today, spend at least a few moments looking at something as if it were the first time. Notice,without judgment, all of the little details. Soak it all in. Don’t get lost in your own head with all of the worries and thoughts that seem to plague our waking hours. Just purely enjoy the moment.
I find this can work really well with people too. Looking at someone you care about asif it were the first time can remind you of many of the wonderful things we often take for granted. I would love to hear about your experience in the comments below.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 