Preparation, dedication and discomfort. Those are three words not many of us like to hear much less apply. Opportunity, success and growth sound a lot better. Yet, the first is the price of the second. We do not like going to the gym, but we like to be able to make it up a flight of stairs without employing a host of sherpas. We would much rather eat pizza everyday, but it is nice to be able to fit in our clothes. We find it uncomfortable to meet strangers, but we love making new friends. One has to happen in order for the other to take place. The more we do the former, the more we receive the latter.
Understanding this simple formula will not only allow us a greater measure of success, but will also help us make it through a greater deal of challenges along the way. When you are hyperventilating on the treadmill and your mind and body are screaming for you to stop, you know eventually this will lead to a stronger heart and more energy on the back end. When you are tempted to quit hitting the books, and start hitting the clubs, remember the formula. One action gives you a diploma to hang. The other course of action leaves you with nothing more than a hangover.
In life, there are rules that if we use them, will help us to live an amazing life. Knowing the harder we work, the more successful we will become is not only an important thing, it is the only thing. The more you prepare, the better you can take advantage of opportunities. The harder you work, the more successful you will become. Sure, it may not happen as soon as you want, but it must happen. You can rest peacefully in the knowledge that your labors will lead to success. It is as simple as this formula.
This is one of the many thought patterns that I use to help me live an amazing life. Allowing situations to be what they are is so key to reducing stress and increasing productivity. So many people spend their energy upset and complaining about why a situation is not to their liking. The only effect that this has is to raise their own stress level. We all know what a prolonged raise in stress can do to us both mentally as well as physically.
Allowing situations to be as they are does not mean you allow yourself to be victim to those situations. Quite the opposite. Fighting against the reality of the situation is like swimming against a current. You may certainly wish the river was flowing in the opposite direction. You can even complain that it is not. Neither of these will change the situation of the river, or more importantly, your situation. Conversely, accepting the river is going in the opposite direction you may want to go, and then making the best of it, may be getting out of the river and walking on the shore. Sure, it might not be as quick as if you were in a river flowing in the right direction, but it will be a lot less stressful, and a lot more productive, than swimming against the current.
In your own life, there are many situations that we wish were different. Accepting them for what they are, followed by asking ourselves how we can make the best of them is a secret to an amazing life.
My lovely lady is planning a date to take me on. I have not a clue as to what it might be. As you are reading this, it will have already occurred and I am sure I will be inspired to write some wonderful thing about it. Here is what the date has already inspired – the importance of being a good listener. The quote from Mr. Hemingway above gives us a clue as to how to become a great listener. Being present is such an important aspect of listening. Do not busy yourself formulating a reply while the person is still conveying what they have to say. Not only is this very poor manners, you will miss a good deal of valuable information.
My lady and I have a saying we use. Listen to learn and understand and not to reply. In doing so, we not only help solve conflicts better, we learn how to bring each other a greater amount of joy. If you remain present and listen to learn, you will discover things about your partner that you would never learn if you didn’t People will convey what they like and dislike. They will tell you things that make their hearts happy and things that make their heart break. You will be able to buy gifts you are sure your partner will love.
This tip works not just for romantic relationships, but any interaction between two parties. Listening to understand will allow you to proceed with more information and do so in a more intelligent manner. This can be a difference in saving a friendship, working relationship, or romantic relationship. When it comes to the relationship itself, the right kind of listening can be a matter of life or death…of the relationship that is.
One of the great secrets to success can be summed up in just one word – action. In any aspect of self-improvement, action is the key to success. If you are trying to tone up a bit and get that beach body, what will get you closer? You could search for the perfect diet, the perfect workout and the perfect trainer. This could take forever, because what works for one person does not always work for another. Other than weight loss from the stress, you wouldn’t get any closer to a better body. What if you just tried to drink some water and go for a walk after dinner? It may not be perfect, but it will at least get you a little closer to your goal. Plus, you can research as you walk or sip your H2O.
Far too many people spend all of their time planning, and little if any, taking action. Taking action is also one of the best ways to discover what does and does not work for you. It also gives the gift of something else. That gift is momentum. When you start to see the effects of your small actions, you are motivated to take more. It continues in an upward spiral. The same can be said in the negative. The failure to take action can lead to feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness. This can lead to depression. Taking action is the antidote.
Whatever goal you are currently pursuing, take action towards it today. It may not be the perfect action. It may not even be the right action, but you will find out a lot sooner by acting than by sitting back and planning. You will also build momentum. This could not be more valuable to get you moving in the right direction. Even if it is a small action, take that action today.
Today is Thursday. It is about that time in the week when we begin to falter. Where we might have started the week out with enthusiasm and gusto, the weight of our endeavors may begin to start feeling heavy right about now. This holds especially true if you find yourself going through one of those periods where everything you touches turns to…well…manure let us say. Whatever you are involved in seems to go wrong. If you haven’t had one of these periods, rest assured it will happen. It is also rather frustrating. The harder you seem to try, the more mistakes you seem to make. It can feel like digging your way out of a hole.
It is leaning into the photo that started this blog that will help us. Raise your hand if you know that you learn far more from mistakes than from almost anything else. Keep your hand up if you look forward to making those mistakes in an effort to learn. I am guessing most of you put your hands down now. None of us like to make mistakes. At the moment we make them, it can be hard to look at them objectively and understand they are nothing more than a learning opportunity. Practicing this will benefit us in two ways.
My lovely lady is a cake designer. A very good one at that. This is one of her many creations. Being that all I know about cakes is how to eat one, I usually try to stay out of her way when she is creating them. On occasion, our paths do intersect when this process is taking place. What she is able to do never ceases to amaze me. Here is another fact about this amazing lady – she usually takes things to the last minute. wanting to deliver fresh cakes, and the need to make some parts shortly before the order is picked up, leave very little room for error. With stress levels that high, when a mistake does occur…well did I mention I usually try to stay out of her way?
One of the coolest parts of this happening, is that she always finds a way to create a new process or create a new way of putting things together that allow the cake to be completed and look amazing. Many of these ideas would never be realized had the misfortune not occurred and the pressure not be on. If you were to ask her if she would like for the frosting to melt, or some other cake related tragedy to happen at the last minute, I am positive she would say ‘No’. Being the honest lady she is, I am sure she will be the first to tell you that some of her best ideas come in these situations.
How about you? Do stress and challenges force you to stretch your mind and engage creative thinking that you may normally not use? That is true of all of us. Mistakes can be a vein of gold in regards to learning. To get the most out of that mine, we must be looking for what we can learn from our mistakes. Next time you find yourself seemingly making one mistake after another, ask yourself, “What on earth can I learn from all of this?” In order to overcome the emotional aspect of the moment, here is an idea. Start by reflecting on some mistakes you have made in the past and ask yourself what you have learned from them. The more you do this, the more mistakes will actually be something to be grateful for.
I think we all enjoy receiving praise from those around us. I know when my lovely lady compliments me, my heart soars. What really matters is what our opinions of ourselves are. This can be a double-edged sword. If we accomplish something great, but do so by ill-gotten means, others may praise you, but inside, you will not be able to be proud of yourself. On the other hand, if you work very hard on a project, stay disciplined and it still does not work out, others may view it as a failure, but you can know what a great character you developed.
There lies the secret of approval. Develop your character to a point where you are satisfied that you have acted in accordance to the best version of yourself. Never stop improving and learning. If you do these actions, you will always have the approval of your inner character. It will allow the opinions of others to hold the appropriate weight.
Ah, social media, the blessing and curse of modern society. There are two great lessons in the example above. To get the most out of social media, and life in general, we are going to look at both of them. We will want to repost this as often as we can in an effort to help the social media experience be better across all platforms.
The first lesson should be obvious, but since there is such an example, it must not be. That is this – if you find something that you object to online, feel free NOT to comment on it. You could just scroll past. Also, drawing conclusions such as the ones our imaginary friend did above happens far too often. Especially during an exchange between what is, at least chronologically, two adults. On social media, and in life, because someone likes something, or perhaps does not like something, does not mean they are evil, have a plan to take over the world or any other conspiracy that people launch into.
The second, and slightly less obvious, lesson is that you do not need to share everything on social media. If it will not add to the good of the world, what is the sense of posting it? Perhaps it may start some disagreement such as above. As we noted earlier, the world is full of people just waiting to get offended by something. This is not to say you just restrict yourself, just ask what is the reason for you posting what you are about to share with the world. Are you someone constantly posting ‘anti’ things against causes you despise? What is the purpose of that? Do you honestly think you will change someone’s mind? I hate to ruin it for you, the answer is likely ‘no’.
In conclusion, while enjoying social media, do not feel compelled to comment on everything that may affect you emotionally in a negative way. If something inspires, motivates or just makes you happy, by all means thank the person. Ask yourself why you feel so compelled to comment and why something someone wrote on an online platform excites you so much? Could your energy be better spent on a task that would help take your life to the next level? Is getting so upset by some words on a screen really good for your health or your spirit? If you find yourself so upset, go for a walk in nature. Do a good deed for another. These actions will have you feeling far better than a juvenile back and forth online.
It is Monday and many of us are facing that weekly challenge of getting back after it while doing our best to stay inspired. Today is a lesson that was brought home to me 2 years ago. I would say I knew this intellectually, but understanding it emotionally took some very extreme circumstances.
As most of you already know, in 2022 I had open-heart surgery. It included some bumpy moments including a brief flirtation with death. In talking to the surgeon and respiratory therapist after the procedure, they both informed me that had I not been in such good shape the outcome could have been quite different. Here is the thing, how long does it take to get in shape? The short answer? Far too long! Had I waited to take care of my body until I was informed of my need for heart surgery, there would not have been enough time.
Life seldom, if ever, gives us a warning that things are going sideways. That is why it is so important to do the difficult things while they are easy. Yes, it is tough to go to the gym after a long day at work, but it is easier to do than after we discover we have a health challenge that may prevent us from doing so. It is hard to get up and go to work, but it is far easier to do so before we have some financial challenge that may require us to do so even more. It may be difficult to turn down the doughnuts and not eat pizza every night, it will be even more difficult than when our health will prohibit doing such things.
If we do the difficult things daily, it will build a character that is strong and full of self-discipline. This will serve us when the difficult things are no longer easy. The same holds true for doing great things while they are small. I believe no matter how small the action you take is, if you do so with love it will be great. Ponder this as we begin our journey in to the week ahead.
Here at Secret2anamazinlife.com, we look to inspire everyone. Our goal is to help each of us see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. We wish to be your guide on your journey to reduce stress, increase joy and become the best version of yourself. Although this does include everyone, we certainly hold a special place for mothers. They are the ones who give birth to, and raise, our future generations. They have one of the most important jobs of anyone. Crafting an environment where children feel free to grow and become the best they can be.
Not only is this one of the most important roles to play in life, it is often thankless and even more often, stressful. As the picture above says, we want all of our followers who are mothers to know that even though you do not wear a cape, you are super heroes to us. Thank you for all you do.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 