Month: December 2023

WHY NOTHING IS EVERYTHING 🤔

Here is a book I cannot recommend enough. Not only because it was written by a very good friend of mine, but because of what it can do for you, and even more, why it was written. You will not only enjoy reading the funny stories contained within, you will be learning as you do so. It will not take you long as it is a quick read, but you will walk away with a greater understanding of your own life by reading about the authors.

Within each chapter, Kurt, the author, shares a story from his life. They are all entertaining, and many stir up emotion. After the story, he shares the lesson he learned. It may remind you of something similar that happened in your own life. It may even start the gears in your brain turning and thinking about how many lessons you could pull from your own life experiences! What if that happens? Do not worry, Kurt has you covered. After the lesson, there is a space you can jot down notes that have occurred to you while reading the proceeding chapter. You don’t have to even have a separate notebook handy. How great is that?

Last week, the author stopped by to help Margie and I with a technical issue. He, and his wonderful lady, shared a meal with my lovely lady and I. We talked as friends do and he shared with us a very gripping story. I would have normally supported this book because the author is my friend and it really will positively impact a lot of lives, but the why behind how it was finally brought to market makes me want to do so even more. Kurt and his mother were very close. He shared many of the fun activities they would do together. I can relate to that as my mother and I often go hiking and get coffee, among other such things. Sadly, Kurt’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. When that happened, they still spent time together by watching movies together. One evening after doing so, he got her a bowl of ice cream and told her he loved her before leaving. She told him, “I love you more.” and he left. The next day she had a doctor’s appointment but tragically did not make it to that appointment. She passed away.

Before she had passed, she made her son promise to publish his book. To honor his mother, he did just that. It is my firm belief, she would not only be proud of her son, but of the amazing book he created. I know she will be looking down and be filled with joy at all the lives her son will have impacted with his thoughtful book. Won’t you honor both him and her by allowing his book to touch your life? You will walk away a more introspective and thoughtful individual, and you will help a young man who kept his promise to his mother. I have included the link to order the book below. You can also search Nothing is Everything by Kurtis W Perkins on Amazon yourself. I would love to hear how this wonderful book has impacted your life, as would Kurt. Feel free to leave a positive review on Amazon to let others know as well.

The author and I

CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR COPY OF “NOTHING IS EVERYTHING” 😃

IT IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION 🛫

Pick any great virtue in life and one thing holds true. It is not a destination but a journey. Want to be courageous? You can’t be brave one time and give yourself the title. You must be brave every day. You also cannot be brave in one area of your life and a coward in the rest. If so, you are not brave my friend.

There is no virtue this holds more true in than that of greatness. You want to be great? Do not focus on accomplishments of great deeds, but focus exclusively on becoming a great person. What is the difference? If you are to be great, you would not strive to be abundant and treat others poorly. You would not focus on acquiring great knowledge to the detriment of your health. You would not even be considered a knowledgeable person, as your lack of knowledge about staying healthy would be evident.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to greatness. Doing a lot of small things well. If you drop trash on the ground, you pick it up because it is your name attached to it. Not because someone may be watching, but because you are watching you. Greatness is doing your best at everything you do. That is becoming great. Greatness is as much a habit as it is anything else. How you do one thing is how you end up doing everything. You cannot act and be poor in one area and expect to be great in another. This may work for a while, but the truth will be revealed.

We do fall to the level of our training. This is especially true when we are under pressure. This is both good and bad news. It is bad news if we can expect to be disciplined in one area of our life and not in any others. We should not strive to be a disciplined _____, but strive to be a disciplined person. If we do work on training our mind and our actions for greatness and to strive to be the best version of ourselves, when we fall back to the level of our training, it will be greatness. Here is one way in which we can accomplish this.

It is here that I must slightly disagree with Mother Teresa. Doing small things with great love is, by our definition here, greatness. Love is a great motivator. How much you love the idea of greatness and becoming a great human being. Thinking about those you love and why you are doing it. In my journey to become a great man, a good deal of that is for the woman I love. She deserves a great man. Every time I am tempted to act in a way that falls below the standards of what I think a great man should be, I think of how much I love her and what she deserves. That love keeps me dedicated to the task of being a great gentleman.

Greatness, my friends, is not a place to be reached. It is a course of action to be pursued every day. It must be done in everything we do. We must remember that greatness is not so much a trait as it is a habit. We must train our minds to operate with a level of greatness. We must set high standards for ourselves. Only by raising our own standards can we hope to grow as individuals. All of this may sound like hard work, and at times it is, but it is attainable. We all have the power to change our habits and act more in according to a way that raises us closer to the level of greatness.

FIND NEW WAYS TO BOND 🫶

When I saw this quote, it sure made me chuckle. It did get me thinking about how many groups we belong to. Whether we voluntarily join them, or in the case of Wally World, are forced to become a part of them. Here is the cool thing about it. The more groups we recognize that we belong to, the better off we are. When we only think about one group, say a political or religious affiliation, and define ourselves solely by that, we create division. “That person is X and I am a Y.” However, if we see that person stuck in the self-checkout waiting for a human to come fix their transaction, just like us, suddenly they become more familiar.

With the advent of the internet and other such technologies, the world is becoming smaller than ever. I can turn on my television in the United States and tune into a Ugandan television station. We can go on social media and chat with someone halfway around the globe. You often hear me mention my friend who reads this blog in Italy. He is an Italian, married to a Filipino woman. I am an American attached to a sweet French, English, Irish (among other things). We could point out many differences. You know what I notice? We are both gentleman with impeccable music tastes that are interested in bettering ourselves, exploring the natural world around us and creating a great relationship with our ladies.

In any situation, we can find many differences among us. We can also find many different souls in one of the groups we find ourselves in. It is ironic how foreign a person and their ideas may seem until we find that common ground. Even challenges, such as a medical condition, can bring us in the company of others we may not think about otherwise associating with. Next time you are tempted to discount another person based on their political beliefs, sexual orientation or religion, remember, they may be at the Walmart Self-checkout just like us.

WHY YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR MESS YOUR MESSAGE ✉️

The thought today is such an important one. It is my firm belief that everyone should share their story. With the options in media we have to choose from, there really is no excuse not to. You could do it in a podcast. You could write a blog like this one. You could write your own book. You could become a speaker and share your message that way. Whatever way you choose, it would benefit the world if you were to share it.

When I say this, people struggle with the fact that their message is one worth sharing. “I am just a house wife.” or “I am just a server/bartender/barista.” they say. How many other people fill that same role around the world? Do you think they would love to read about the challenges you face? Do you think they could benefit from shaking their head saying, “Yep, I’ve been there!” I think you know the answer is yes.

The other challenge people have when it comes to sharing their story is they think they are not a success. I have heard them say, “I haven’t done everything right. I am still a mess.” That’s great! Do you know how many of us are still learning? That would be all of us. Sometimes hearing everyone’s success stories can make us feel like even more of a failure. To hear that there is someone who is still has not figured it all out, may give them hope and assure them they are not alone. This is why it is so important to share your story.

Remember to share your story. Your ‘mess’ can be just the message someone needs to hear. You can share your message in so many different ways. Each one can touch a different soul. You, and your story could very well be the answer to someone’s prayer.

HIDDEN TREASURE 🤑

Last post we spoke of finding the miracles in our ordinary lives. It is a lesson that is too easy to forget. I must confess, I often fail to see these miracles. It is about this time that my mood seems to falter. As soon as I express gratitude for these miracles, my level of joy and inner peace begins to climb once again. When you recognize the truly miraculous events that have to take place for your life to move on as it does, you will really raise your vibration and be filled with more joy and inner peace than you have in your life up to that point.

Does this sound like a bunch of hype? Maybe your life at this moment seems far from a miracle? Here is the very important part about miracles. Pay attention now, I really don’t want anyone to miss this. Miracles are rarely, if ever, linear. What this means is that you often cannot witness the miracle in short-term. When you look back, do you know what you discover? Treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Here is another very important thing to remember. If you do not look for the treasure, you will never find it. Although right in front of you, it will remain hidden to you.

Allow me to explain this further by way of a personal example. Many of you know that I went through open-heart surgery and died, albeit briefly. When asked about what I gained out of that experience, many people go for the obvious. They assume, correctly I might add, that I gained a new appreciation for my mortality and how fleeting life is. There was so much more than that. When I look back on the experience, there are so many miracles that had to fall in line for me to be sharing this information with you today.

It all began with my trip to the gym. I had been doing cross fit and was in arguably the best shape of my life. This particular day I was on a cross trainer machine and feeling good. I was full of energy. I just happened to look down and see the heart rate. It read 222. Normal for my age was 93-150. On past occasions, I would have just ignored that number and went on exercising. I am not always the smartest when it comes to listening to my body. This day I decided to call someone. The doctor? No. My lovely Margie. She immediately chastised me for continuing to exercise and insisted I did call the doctor. This I did on the drive home from the gym. Those in the medical profession, who were a lot smarter than yours truly, insisted I go directly to the hospital, but not drive myself. This was ironic as this conversation occurred while I was driving.

That trip in the hospital shed light on the fact I had a deformed heart valve. I was born with this, but nobody in the 43 years prior had shared such information with me. I was also enlightened to the fact that I had a aneurism. As I told the doctor, “This information has never come across my desk.” It was not large enough to require surgery, but needed monitoring. If it were to rupture, it could impact my life negatively, by…well…ending it. This was in 2018. For the next 3 years I had checkups twice a year. They all ended the same way. “You are messed up, but not any more messed up than you were when you were initially messed up.” This diagnosis was always followed with the requirement to pay a hefty $2000. Needless to say, I stopped going for these checkups.

Part of the treatment for the last 3 years was to put me on a ‘just in case’ medicine. This wonderful medicine made me have slightly more energy than a sloth after dinner. When picking up a refill, I happened to mention this to the pharmacist. She looked at the dose and suggested I ask the doctor to reduce it. I pulled out my phone right there and gave the good doctor a call. His response was in order to get a reduction in dose, I must return to receiving the checkups. I thought this was useless, but to avoid being cast as a sloth in the next Disney production, I agreed.

The test was the following week. I was informed the doctor would call me with the results in a few days. When the doctor did call, I happen to be leaving the gym once again. I was expecting the usual diagnosis of ‘no change’. What I heard next surprised me quite a bit. “I think it is time for surgery.” It would appear since my last examination, I had passed the threshold for surgery. By quite a margin I might add.

Going through that open-heart surgery, and all the challenges that went with it, had me feeling in pain more than grateful. Upon reflection, there were so many miracles that had taken place to get me where I am today. Being on a machine that took my heart rate. Deciding not to be a knucklehead and get that checked out. Having the pharmacist suggest I call my doctor to get my medicine reduced. Having the doctor insist to another exam before doing so. If any one of these things had not happened, my aneurism may have burst, and my trip to the great beyond would have been a permanent change of address.

How about in your own life? Can you think about cases where situations came together just right to allow everything to come together? These are life’s miracles. Let me assure you that all of our lives have them. It is up to us to notice them and be grateful for them. It is then that the treasure appears. It may not be gold and jewels, but it is a sense of inner peace, joy and gratitude that will radically transform your life more than mere money ever could.

THE MIRACLE OF ORDINARY THINGS ✨️

Uplifting Wednesdays! My favorite day for this site. Every Wednesday we look to lift each other up. Today’s thought is so powerful. Often, a change in our life is no more complicated than a change in perception. This is not to say it is not challenging, but it is not all that complicated. A perfect example is the quote above. We often miss the miracles in life because they have become ordinary. As I write this, I am sitting in a local Starbucks, where I do most of my writing, and I can see countless things that could be considered miracles.

To many of you, this may sound like it is putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. Maybe, but there is also a great deal of truth to it. Plus, ask yourself this, what does putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses do? It makes the world look rosy! What does that do? Make us feel good. Would you rather go through life feeling good or feeling bad? So how do we get fitted for a pair of these wonderful spectacles and start seeing the miracles that we are missing all around us? I have 2 suggestions to start!

My first suggestion is to indulge in a little bit of time travel. Don’t worry. You will not even have to leave your seat to do so. Take a look at the picture above. The top shows a man in a Ford Model T. Sometime during the early 1900s I would guess. Below is a Bugatti Divo, or as we will refer to it, my next car. Can you imagine taking the man from the top machine and putting him in the bottom car? He would think it was nothing short of a miracle. Even if you put me in the bottom car I would consider it a miracle. This holds true of so many of our modern conveniences. How about a device that would reheat food in mere minutes? Can you imagine how much a mother in the 1930s would have found this helpful? A device in your hand that contains a camera, a computer, a telephone, a pedometer and many other things yet only weighs a few ounces? How about the fabulous internet it runs on? These are all miracles! Look around you and notice how many things would have been unthinkable only a few years ago. As the pace of change in the world quickens, the number of things that will be ‘modern miracles’, as those in the advertising world like to say, will continue to increase.

Although my mother does not enjoy me bringing up the subject, a few years ago I underwent open-heart surgery. In the course of this, I briefly expired and then returned. The whole story is available in my book, The Beat Goes On. Above is a picture of me recovering from such an ordeal. Having tubes stuck everywhere, including in my neck, was not the joyous experience you might imagine it to be. What a gift is was though! Why? It allowed me to really change my perspective on a lot of things. In fact, the whole process occurred due to a string of miracles. Had they not occurred, I might not be here to write this. Steve Jobs said, “You can never connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.” This can often be true about discovering the miracles in life.

There are so many events that can help us see the miracles all around us. I recall news stories of hostages being released. When they return to their native lands, they often kiss the ground at the airport. Why? Because the freedom they thought they had lost forever was suddenly returned. Do you think they would kiss the ground at that airport when say going on vacation? Probably not. The freedom was still there, but they did not notice it until it was taken away. Same when the Berlin wall was taken down. People rejoiced, deservedly so, at the new-found freedom they had acquired. Do you think many of those people are dancing in the street for that freedom now? No, it has been taken for granted.

Lastly, loss is a powerful way of helping us see the miracles in our life. There is a line from the song “Life is Beautiful” by the band Sixx A.M. that I think illustrates the point quite well. The line reads “There is nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive.” As dark as this may sound, it is uncomfortably true. How many times have you walked away from a funeral with a new appreciation for how fleeting life is and what a miracle it is to be alive. It also helps us appreciate the miracle of those we share life with. When I learned I was to undergo my surgery, and how risky it was, I was at the movies with the love of my life. I recall looking over to appreciate the miracle of her smile. The way her eyes light up when she is happy. The way her cheeks get rosy. These things are miracles. On any given day, I find it a miracle that such a beautiful and amazing woman loves me. Does that mean I never take that for granted? Although I do my best, I am human. All it takes is some time away from each other or reflection on what we have been through to refresh that miraculous feeling.

How about your life? Have you been letting miracles pass you by? I don’t even know you, but I can assure you that you have. There are so many miracles, disguised as ordinary things, that we can’t possibly notice them all. My suggestion for you? Spend some time each day where you stop, put on a pair of the old rose-colored glasses, and look anew at all the miracles around you. It will refresh your soul and may even help heal some of the pain you have. Feel free to share any of the miracles you are celebrating in your life with us.

BETTER THAN BEING RIGHT ✅️

In today’s world, this is a very powerful message! If you are foolish enough to turn on the news, you will hear countless stories of conflict, much of it leading to violent and deadly consequences. This could be crime you see in your nation or even your town. On a grander scale, the events in Ukraine and Israel are broader examples of this.

It does not even have to be such extreme cases. There was a man at one of my books signings that told me about how he would always get so mad on his drive to work listening to talk radio. He was angered with the actions of those “idiots”. Those people, in this case, were people who differed from him politically. I don’t even recall which side of the fence he tended to lean. Not that matters much as the anger and hate is the same on both. You could see his blood pressure start to rise just telling me about it. All of this happened at a book signing for my book titled Living the Dream. I asked him what I thought was an obvious question. “Why don’t you just change the station to something you find enjoyable?” He looked at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. “How will I know what they are up to?” he asked. “What would happen if you didn’t?” I countered. He walked away shaking his head at the foolish author. It is my sincere hope he cracks open the great book he purchased and applies a few of its principles.

It doesn’t even have to be some outside source getting our blood pressure up. Many of us do this to ourselves. How many times have you seen something divisive that someone has posted online followed by an endless string of comments. As you read down the comments, they become more heated and lascivious. It doesn’t even have to be something controversial. No. Even people celebrating victories or sharing something that brought them joy can be subjected to scathing comments. Why people go through the trouble of sharing something negative when none is needed is beyond me. Here is something even more confounding – why do we even respond to these?

In our example of the string of comments, I can promise you that none of those people got anything beneficial out of them. In fact, most of them probably got an increase in blood pressure with a side of cortisol, the stress hormone. Quite harmless in and of itself, but I am guessing that was not the only “discussion” they had that day. Many of them probably continued to think about, and maybe even talk about, how wrong this person was. This only served to get them more upset and experience negative emotions while they were thinking and talking about it.

The crazy thing about all of this is that it is completely unnecessary. Is it that important that you have to be right? Here is another thought to ponder. Do you think it might be possible that due to different life experiences and circumstances a person can have a different, yet equally valid, opinion on an issue than you? Is there a chance that both you and that person could be right? Their opinion being right for them and yours being right for you? Do you think there is room to be friends with someone who doesn’t think and feel exactly like you? Hell, that even happens in my house. Of course we know the answer to all of these is yes.

One more question. If you finally ‘prove’ to the other person that your opinion is ‘right’ or ‘better’ than theirs, was it worth the stress and loss of inner peace to get there? What happens if you do win an argument? Do you get a trophy? A cash prize? No. I will tell you what you get. You get get stress, high blood pressure, a weakened immune system as well as a weakened friendship. For what? Are all of these arguments and needing to be right worth the loss of peace? How difficult would it be to say, “Although I disagree with your opinion, I respect your right to feel that way.” and then move on to a more agreeable topic? Next time we feel the urge to argue a point, or prove we are ‘right’, let us slow down and ask ourselves if it is worth our inner peace.

THE FORGOTTEN KEY TO ALL SUCCESS. 🔑

Last post we discussed the importance of finding tools and strategies that we can customize to us and our particular journey. You are reading a website about living an amazing life, but what defines an amazing life? The answer will be different for each one of us reading this. First of all, this site is followed in over 200 countries with many different cultures, values and beliefs. Even in the same country, town and even family, people have different goals and ambitions. There is one thing that will make any goal you are chasing more likely to succeed. It doesn’t matter if that goal is a health goal, a financial goal or a spiritual goal, there is one element that people often miss when pursuing their ambition. That missing key to your success is to enjoy the journey.

Finding ways to enjoy the journey is not some added bonus you should look for, it is a necessity! No matter how much it may further our aspirations, if we cannot find something in the journey that could bring us joy, it will not be sustainable. We often use the example of physical fitness to illustrate points, so let us go with that. Many people absolutely dread fitness. Especially when you begin, it is important to find an activity that brings you joy. If gyms are intimidating, try going for a walk in nature. Maybe after years of sloth, your body is not able to do walking just yet. That’s ok. Try biking, swimming or even dancing vigorously around the house! Whatever you choose, have fun with it.

A great way to have fun is to look at your progress. That is why having goals that are measurable is so important. Look, it is no fun to wrap the measuring tape around your belly after years of pizza and beer, but know that the starting line and get excited for the progress. Make a point to stop and appreciate yourself, and your efforts once a month, or once a week. Whatever you need to do to keep yourself motivated. What happens when the scale hasn’t budged or the inches haven’t moved along despite your best effort? Celebrate the fact that you have shown the effort. Perhaps look at discovering a new, and fun activity to add to your efforts?

Whatever goal you are pursuing in life, make sure to add this question to your list. When writing the steps to accomplishing your goal down, ask yourself, “How can I enjoy this process.” Do not quit until you find, at the very least, one answer. When I go to work, every day I know I am putting aside money for both my retirement and my next vacation. That makes my day a little more enjoyable. I look forward to finding ways to make my coworkers happy and improve their days. This brings me joy. How about you? What are you working on? How are you going to make it enjoyable?

DEVOTE NEXT WEEK, AND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, TO THIS! 🚧

The journey of improving oneself is a unique one. What works for one person, may not work for the next person. This is one of the difficult things about both reading, and of course writing, a self-improvement book. Which is why we should always read an entire book before deciding it does not work for us. I encourage my readers, both in my books and on this blog, to take what works for you and throw the rest away. If you find even one tool that helps you positively impact your life, isn’t it worth it?

There are certain tools and strategies that can be customizable, therefore, they are universal. My first 2 books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, are full of them. That is why the quote in the first picture is so valuable. It gives us the answer to what we should be doing – getting better. Whether that is finding new ways to increase our physical health, such as working on our fitness and diet, or even expanding our mind by taking a class. You could improve your physical, mental and spiritual health by reading the 2 books mentioned previously. We could increase our fulfillment by pursuing a passion project. We could refine out creativity by taking up a new hobby. In regards to all of this, there is both good and bad news.

Here is both the good and the bad news – there is no finish line. At anything in life, if we think we have ‘made it’, and stop working at it, we do not stay the same, we begin to regress. That means we must work on our greatest project every single day, for the rest of our lives. That project is us. You are never ‘fit enough’ where you can just sit around eating pizza. Sad, I know. You are never ‘smart enough’. In today’s world, it is estimated that the rate of change is moving so fast, half of what you know will be useless in 2 years. Think of how insane that is! Spiritually developed enough? There really isn’t such a thing.

Before this starts sounding like a terrible amount of effort, know that progress, much like everything else in life, can be defined in so many different ways! You do not have to go to the gym every day, but maybe start taking walks after dinner. You don’t have to read a book a day, try reading 15 minutes of something inspirational first thing in the morning. The ways we can progress in so many different ways. As a bonus, in addition to improving whatever area of our life we are working on, progress is a great source of happiness. Seeing development in any area of our lives gives us a little jolt of self-confidence and pride. 

DOING THIS RUINS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY 👷‍♂️

When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.

A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.

I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.

Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.