Month: November 2023

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS, BUT THEN AGAIN YOU CAN ALWAYS…🫤

Confused by today’s title? It really is as simple as the quote above. Let us be honest with each other here. The week is ending. The month is drawing to a close. Even the year is almost over. Many people think that with a month left to go, it is a little late to make any grand improvements. Here is the truth about improvements, especially self-improvements, they all start with a single moment. Yes, the may take days, months or even years to complete, but they all start with a single decision. It all starts to change when we finally say “Enough!” or “Now is the time!” The end of our rope is the location for many of our best beginnings.

One of the most profound changes we can make is our own attitude. It is our attitude at the onset of a project that most determines its outcome, as William James mentioned. We can think of how this may be true. If we begin a project with the belief that it will not work, how hard will we look for solutions to the challenges that may arrive along the way? Not very hard I would imagine. If we are determined to get in better shape, how many options will we be willing to explore? The net worth of the weight loss industry is estimated to be 72.6 billion. That is people trying a lot of options. How well any will succeed depends a great deal on the attitude of the person attempting them.

With one month left in the year, there is no greater area we can work on improving than our own attitude. We will have bad days. Many circumstances are out of our control. What is completely in our control is our attitude. The better our attitude, the better our chances of success in life. The worse our attitude, the worse our chances for success will be. This is not limited to just one area of our life either. Our attitude crosses over and touches every aspect of our life. This makes it one of the most important areas of study and improvement we can make. Why not work on entering the new year with a new, and improved, attitude?

DO IT OR DIE! 😳

What a title! What could possibly be so important that if we did not do it we would die? Is there really such a thing? The short answer is ‘Yes.’ Do not worry, this is not like one of those social media posts that claim if you don’t share it with all of your friends, coworkers and the neighbor’s dog that you will be cursed with 10 years bad luck. In fact, this is actually backed by science. You will not fall over dead when you walk out the door tomorrow if you do not do this either. What you will do, sadly, is you will call it quits several years before those we do put this simple tool to work for them will. Keep reading to find out how you can not only add more years to your life, but ultimately more life to your years.

According to Equifax, most people live 10-20 years after they retire. That is a pretty good margin. How can we be more likely to lean towards the 20 year side and not the 10 year side? I was having this very discussion with my coworker, Rob, the other day. According to neuropsychologists, having a sense of purpose is one of the greatest predictors of health and wellness in old age. Let that soak in for a while. For those of us who are picturing just laying on the beach everyday sipping cocktails (certainly something to do when retired) there must be more to life. Those who wake up with a purpose after retiring, have reduced stress levels, are in better physical health and age more successfully. Think of it. Less stress, a stronger immune system and a greater sense of happiness. Isn’t that what we all want when we retire?

Work, as trying as it can be, gives us a reason that we must get out of bed in the morning. We have to pay the bills. We have to earn money to go on vacation or to take the lady out for dinner. Whatever it is you are working towards. Sometimes it is working towards retirement. A lot of people are shocked when they get there. It is as if they worked their whole life towards something, and now that they have it, they are not sure what to do with it. If you are thinking that you do not need a purpose, consider this fact. According to a recent study of retirees, having a purpose lowered their risk of death by 15.2%. This held true across different races, religions and ethnicity.

We have discovered that having a purpose not only increases the length of your life, but the quality of it as well. This does not mean you have to work until you die. We ended the last post with a quote from the great Howard Thurman. We included two more from him in this post. I think they give us the answer to living a long and fulfilling life. That is finding what sets our soul on fire and doing more of that. It could be working in the garden. It could be joining a book club and discovering great new books, as well as friends. For me, I know retirement will consist of continuing this blog, writing books and producing episodes of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. How about you? What will your grand purpose be when you retire?

Added bonus here. You do not have to wait until retirement to reap all of these benefits. Find something that sets your soul on fire now! At the very least, start looking for that. Once you find it, and start enjoying it, you will experience the wonderful benefits we mentioned in this blog. I know after a hard day working my day job, writing is as much of a release as it is anything else. I love exploring nature and going to the gym as well. Coffee with friends provides interesting conversations. Time spent chasing dreams with the love of my life never fails to be exciting. When I retire, it will be more a transition than an end.

IT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH! 😳

The title of this post may sound a bit critical. To some men it may sound far worse than that. Fear not. There is a benign but still very important meaning to this. It has to do with one of the most important, and powerful, aspects of self-improvement – goal setting. You hear a lot about the importance of goals from many people in many places. Even the bible says, “Without a vision, the people parish.” A vision, is just another name for a goal. Here is the tricky bit. Most of us set goals based on the person we are. This may sound logical. How could we set goals for a person we are not? What is meant in the photo above, is we have to set goals that will force us to grow and become more than who we are.

One of my main passions is to encourage others to share their stories. EVERYONE has a story that would inspire many if they only shared it. Whether that is to show someone how to improve their lives, or just let them know they are not alone in the struggles they face, every single person can be a hero to many. That includes you. One of the responses that I often hear when putting this forth, is “I can’t write a book/start a YouTube channel/write a blog.” The reasons are varied, but include not having enough time. Not being disciplined enough. Not knowing anything about those activities. These excuses may be valid, but only in regards to who you are now. My friend Kurt recently completed his first book. As we was writing it, he learned and developed many new skills. The person he was when he was done, was not the person who started the project. He had grown and developed a whole new set of skills. His book, Nothing is Everything, is definitely worth a read!

Setting goals can be a scary endeavor. There is the thought of how you might feel if you do not reach the goal. Which is better, to fail or to fail to try? Two very important things to remember. If you work towards your goal and fall short of completing it, you have not failed, you have learned and can attempt it again, only full of more knowledge. I like this next fact. When they interviewed people who were close to the end of their lives, the number one regret was not the goals they didn’t reach. It was not even the mistakes they made. The number one regret was the things they did not try. Let that sink in. Do you want to reach the end of your life and regret all of the things you could have done and who you could have been? If my words were not enough to inspire you, allow me to leave you with this great thought attributed to Dr. Howard Thurman.

NEVER LOSE AGAIN! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

Wouldn’t it be great if you could go through life never experiencing a loss or a failure? What if I tell you that I actually live that life? As impossible as that may seem, it is true. Before you roll your eyes or think that I am joking, let me assure you this is not only 100% true, but you can do it too! This is not to say that you will not suffer heartache. Everything you aspire to accomplish will not always turn out as you had hoped. You will still face struggles along the way. There will still be relationship issues, maybe the loss of a job, or even worse, the loss of a loved one.

If you are a logical person, you might be asking yourself, “I thought he said we would never experience a loss?” As painful as some of these afore mentioned events are, they can be changed from a loss to a lesson. It involves a simple change of perspective. This may seem like I am splitting hairs, but hear me out. Does changing what we call something really change its reality? You bet. No, it will not bring that relationship, job or loved one back, but it will change your emotions about the situation. When we think about it, our emotions are our life. If you are happy and feeling good, your life is good, no matter what circumstances may be. If you are sad and feeling down, your life is not good, no matter how well situations may be playing out for you.

Using Nelson Mandela’s philosophy, we can see how we can never lose again either. My one caveat I would suggest is learning in both cases. Feel free to quote me on this one, I never lose, I either have a victory or a lesson. In both cases, I have learned. We can learn how to be a better life partner when we screw up a relationship. We can learn ways to improve ourselves, or align ourselves better with our passion when we lose a job. We can learn more about living with love, and less with regret when a loved one leaves us. This is not simple hyperbole, I have personally done all three.

If we learn from our mistakes, they are not a loss, but a lesson. Therefore, the only way we can lose in life, is to fail to learn. My relationship with the love of my life would not be nearly as amazing if I did not learn from my mistakes, both in past relationships, and in the wonderful one I share with her. Your relationship will have mistakes and challenges, it just shouldn’t keep having the same ones. The great thing about working for the United States Postal Service, is that they are always threatening to eliminate your job. Why is that a good thing? Sounds rather stressful doesn’t it? In a way it is, but once again, I have learned to put that stress to work for me. It reminds me to never allow my occupation to become my identity. This is a lesson that many of us could put into use. It also motivates me to pursue outside interests. To work on improving myself and my writing. Losing a loved one is never easy. It will be painful and I do not wish to marginalize that pain. However, I recall once I learned to use that pain to make sure that I loved everyone I care about to the fullest in my life, it became a great motivator. The only thing worse than the pain of loss, is to have that pain compounded with regret.

Do what Nelson Mandela does. Do what I do. Never allow yourself to simply lose in life again. When you turn everything in your life into a lesson, not only will it lessen the pain of perceived losses, but help you grow and develop as a person. There is no more powerful feeling to look life right in the eye and say, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” You owe this to yourself.

WILL YOU SEE IT THIS WEEK? 👀

Tomorrow is Monday. I know that does not thrill a lot of you. Here is the thing, even all we dread is filled with opportunity. The drive to work, even if it is in cold weather such as we are experiencing here, is ripe with potential. If you drive, you could listen to something inspiring. This could be your favorite motivational speaker, it could be a song that really gets you pumped up. It could be an audio book you really are interested in. My suggestion would be the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, but I might be biased.

Finding the opportunity in everything may sound a bit like ‘positive thinking’ fluff, but it is quite the opposite. Finding the opportunity in everything takes hard work. It is easy to just say, “Poor me. Why does this always happen to me?” and sulk. It takes guts and determination to ask, “How can I put this situation to work for me?” It also strengthens you. I present my recent trip to the dentist as a great example. To me, there are two people in the world. Those who like going to the dentist and normal people. I decided that I was going to use this as practice for maintaining a positive and courageous outlook. It was not easy, but focusing on learning about the procedure as well as the people performing it helped.

When we harness the ability to put all of life’s circumstances to work for us, instead of being victims to them, we control life instead of the other way around. It amplifies our successes and softens the blow of our defeats. Who would not want that? Life will be one continuous upward path to personal empowerment and improvement. It will also be a lot less stressful. Think of situations that you view as holding you back and ask yourself, “How can I put this to work for me?” You will be amazed at how this change in perspective can transform your life.

1% TODAY

It is the weekend and the last thing you want to do is hear about work. I completely get it. It is, however, what separates the good from the great. Even doing 1% more, as the photo above suggests, can make a huge difference over the course of a year. Take any aspect you are working on improving and imagine what that would look like with a 1% daily improvement. It would be amazing, and so are you. Now get out there and get that 1%!

WHILE YOU ARE OUT SHOPPING 🛍

Today, in the United States, it is what they call ‘Black Friday’. One of the biggest shopping days of the year. In the past, it was marked with people acting crazy, some even resorting to violence, all in the name of getting a good price on a product. Luckily, that has improved slightly with the online shopping avenue.

Still, as you go out today, remember to be kind. To the workers. They are stressed with being so busy. They are also probably working long hours. There are people shopping who may be feeling sad about being unable to purchase what they really want for their loved ones. There will be people who are stressed because they are just trying to get through the day but it is taking longer than normal because of all the people out and about. Finally, there are people with heavy hearts facing the first holiday after losing a loved one.

You have the power to add a little joy to each of these people’s lives. Use that power today. Each bit of kindness makes the world a better place whether you see it or not.

JUST SOME OF THE BENEFITS

On a day specific for being thankful, we may ask what the big deal is. If you haven’t made gratitude a part of your life, you may not appreciate the benefit. Gratitude makes changes quicker than any other thing I know. Here are just a few of the things that will improve in your life when you begin to focus on what you have to be grateful for.

This can be accomplished by designating as little as 5 minutes a day. This can be done on the way to work. Maybe on the way home? How about right before bed? That will give you some good dreams. If you do it first thing in the morning it will start your day off right. Use Thanksgiving as a day to start this habit for a better life today!

WHAT IS YOURS?

Tomorrow is my favorite holiday – Thanksgiving! It is a celebration of all we are grateful 🙏 for. We can get so fixated on what needs fixing in our lives, we can often overlook what is working.

Today, let’s take a second, at the very least, to look around and take stock of what IS working and what we have to be grateful for. If you were to spend 5 minutes a day on this activity, it will change your life. Living in gratitude has so many amazing benefits it would take another post to list. DON’T trust me on this one. Try it for yourself.

A LESSON FROM THE LIVING DEAD 💀

One of the many great lessons you can pull out of my third book is this one! When I was told I needed a risky open-heart surgery and that there was a chance I could either have a stroke or die, a lot goes through your mind. They did tell me that it would most likely be a mini-stroke, so nothing to worry about. I recall jokingly asking if there was a mini death that wasn’t much to worry about. That was all too accurate, but that is a story for a different post. If you can’t wait, feel free to read The Beat Goes On by yours truly.

I was given two months notice before the surgery would take place. What was I focused on? Was it making more money? Not at all. Improving my looks? Nope. What became most important was loving the people closest to me and enjoying every last drop of time I could with them. The closer the day came, the less I wanted to even spend time sleeping. Granted, there is not much of that in my life normally. When you know how much sand is left in the hourglass and are keenly aware that it is running out every second that passes, there is a sense of urgency that you otherwise don’t have.

Here is the truth, that is the situation for all of us. Normally, we don’t know how much sand is on top of the hourglass. It could be a week, it could be a decade or more. We don’t really know. Yet, the majority of us walk around as if we have an noncancelable contract with life. Not to be the bearer of bad news, but yours will end someday and we don’t know when.

I did end up briefly expiring. Again, that entire story is in the book. Obviously, I came back to join you all here on the website and type this blog. Hopefully, that wasn’t the sole reason I was brought back, but I digress. Having another chance to bring joy to the world, and extract it from life is quite a blessing. I had to undergo months of physical therapy to be able to get back to living life again. Let me tell you that not a single workout goes by that I am not reminded that even going to the gym is a blessing. Actually, all of life is. It is also a precious one that far too many of us take for granted. Today, you are the youngest you will ever be. Don’t waste it.