I love this picture! Not only am I a big fan of Winnie-the-Pooh, but the quote is right on point. In a social media, look at me type world, people crave recognition for what they do. It never fails to amaze me what some will do for 15 minutes of fame.
Even kindness can come with the desire for recognition. What we must realize, is often we might not see the results of our kindness. A while ago, we discussed the butterfly effect. In a nutshell, it says that seemingly small,insignificant actions can have a ripple effect creating big outcomes.
I have heard countless stories of famous people who received an act of kindness that allowed them to display their talent. I recall a story about a Jewish couple buying a trumpet for a troubled youth. He went on to be Louis Armstrong, the famous jazz musician. His albums have brought joy to millions over generations. This never would have happened if not for that random act of kindness.
For every one story you hear like this about someone famous, there are countless stories from people who you may never hear about. Your kindness may not inspire the next jazz legend. Then again, it might. It might make someone’s day. It might help heal the pain they are hiding. It might just save their life.
Just because we do not see the payoff for our kindness, does not mean we should not give it. Our kindness always makes a difference. Give it freely.
Midweek! How are we doing on not only taking care of ourselves, but those around us? Just a quick reminder that it takes very little of your energy to be compassionate and encouraging to yourself and others. That little amount of energy can have a great impact on the quality of someone else’s day, but yours as well. As a bonus, the energy we expend is returned to us with the joy we bring to others.
What small thing do you plan on doing for those in your life? One little thing to encourage or inspire someone? Please share with the rest of us!😀
Every morning, there is something to celebrate. There is some win in our lives. It is important to recognize and celebrate this win. This is not just some new-age positive thinking activity. By celebrating our wins and what is going right in our lives, we do two very important things. First, we recognize both to the world, but more importantly to ourselves, that there are good things happening in our life. Too often we can focus just on the negative. Although, this can help us with discovering a solution, doing so without also focusing on what is working can drain us of valuable emotional and spiritual energy. Which is what the second thing celebrating a win first thing in the morning does; it gives us momentum and energy to tackle the day. With all of the negative influences that may come at us, we owe it to ourselves to give our focus to the good in our lives.
Quite often, what you focus on can dictate your drive. I always have an updated version of the map you see above saved on my phone. What is this map? The shaded countries represent where this blog is followed. As you can see by the number, we are also closing in on 100,000. When a particular post does not get as many views as I would hope, or my inspiration to write is not so great, I look at this map. I think of the young person in Peru, or the elderly person in the Congo needing some motivation or inspiration. When you know that others are counting on you to show up, it can give you that extra boost to do so. When you view how many wins you already have, you are motivated to have more. Still looking to connect with some beautiful souls in Greenland. Celebrating all the other wonderful countries that follow us helps me to stay motivated to do so. Hoping to reach 100,000 people. Celebrating the fact we have reached over 90,000 keeps me focused on that goal.
In your own life, do not forget to celebrate the wins. The more you focus on them, the more they seem to show up. Don’t trust me on this one. Prove it to yourself. Try finding a different win to celebrate everyday for 21 days and see what happens in your life. Even if that win is waking up to another day and a chance to do better than the day before. I would love to know what win you are celebrating?
For those of you who may be new to this blog, or to me in general, this title may sound a bit confusing. Let me explain. Last year I had open-heart surgery and had a brief flirtation with death. This cannot help but change someone’s life. I am sure you can appreciate that even if you have managed to stay on the right side of the great beyond. I am extremely fortunate that God was much like every hotel I have ever checked into. When I got there, I was told, “Your room is not ready yet. Please come back later.” Trust me when I tell you that, at the very least, I never get upset having to wait to check into a hotel anymore. There were many things that I walked away with from this experience. I chronicled them all in my book, The Beat Goes On.
What I would really like to share with you is the powerful thing I learned before I died. It happened when Margie and I were at the movies roughly 2 months before my surgery. That is not us in the picture above. I am shorter and Margie is cuter. I had been diagnosed with the problem, aneurysm on my artery, 3 years prior. They told me it could unexpectedly explode at anytime and I would die. As you can imagine, that causes a slight shift in the way you live your life. Every pain at the gym was initially viewed as “Did I rupture it?” I say initially because even the looming specter of possible death hanging over you like a storm cloud, can become oddly routine.
This all changed when they told me that I did indeed need surgery. They told me the surgery was dangerous and there was a chance I might not make it through. Oh, and how about having it in 2 months right after the first of the year? It may seem like I am making light of it now, but that is actually how it went down. After setting a date for the surgery, Margie and I went on a date of our own to the movies. An hour into the film, I regretted drinking several cups of coffee before we left and excused myself to the men’s room. It was there that I realized the full extent of what dying might mean. It could mean that would be my last thanksgiving, my last Christmas, and who knows, my last movie with the woman I love. This realization did not bring on a feeling of fear or dread. It actually brought on a sense of urgency. How could I make the most of all of those events? Thinking of Margie, I began to wonder, “What could I do that would make this woman understand how much I love her even if I am gone?” Then my brain went into overdrive multiplying that to include all the people an events in my life. I began to wonder if I had shared enough content? Had I inspired all of the people I could? When it came right down to it, the burning question was, “Had I done enough to leave the world a better place than when I arrived?” Not only for those I deeply care about, but for the world as a whole?
These were deep questions that did not have easy answers. What they did do was light a fire under me to take action. Do you think you have time to make the world a better place? Do you think you have time before you die to not only tell but have those you care about feel how much you love them? Do you know what you could do to accomplish these things? Do you know how long that might take? Do you have enough time left to do so? If you are mulling these thoughts around in your mind, you might have come up with the question, “How do I know how much time I have left?” That is a great question. None of us do. Before going into the hospital for an unrelated issue, I had zero idea there was anything wrong with my heart. This is true for most people with an aneurysm. You feel great and then you fall over. It is pretty much that quick. There are no warning signs. That is why you not only need to get checked out regularly, but you need to have a sense of urgency and do all you can to leave the world a better place by sharing the gifts that were given to you and only you.
Inky Johnson is one of my favorite speakers. If you have never heard of him, I would highly suggest you look him up on YouTube and watch his story. It will bring out the emotions in you. One thing he said was “Perspective drives performance every day of the week.” What does that mean? He further expands on it by saying, “Why you do what you do will determine how you do what you do.”If we reflect in our own life, I am sure we know this to be true.
Take your job for example. When you think of going to work in the morning, does an image like the one above come to mind? If so, I can tell you what your work day must feel like. Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I go to work in the morning?” Before you answer make sure you are not asking yourself, “Why do I have to go to work in the morning?” Most of us live in a country where we don’t have to go to work. It is a choice. Of course, if we choose not to, there are some consequences that go with that. Just small things like no heat or no eat. If you just go to work to pay bills, chances are you will keep feeling like the photo above. Your job will seem like a prison sentence. Although, it must be reminded, one you can free yourself from at any moment.
It is better to have something you are working towards. For example, maybe you are saving for that next wonderful vacation? The picture above was taken at the Riu Negril in Jamaica where Margie and I were last month. The staff and hotel management were amazing and we had a great time creating memories and meeting new friends. Whether your dream is a new car, a vacation, a new outfit or a million other things, a goal could transform that sentence into an opportunity. Yet, there is one goal that I recommend above any others.
Here is the fickle thing about material goals – they can shift or disappear all together. Margie and I had been going on vacation for the last 5 years. There was a hurricane one year, the pandemic, my open-heart surgery another year and well…you get the picture. Sometimes that new car is not enough to keep you motivated to get to the office. I will tell you what is though. Focusing on who you want to become. Knowing what the process will bring to the table. I work roughly 50 hours a week just at my day job. I work Monday through Saturday. I DJ with Margie on Sunday. For those keeping track, that is zero days off. It can be extremely difficult to stay motivated. Especially, getting up at 4am to start everyday. What does is the knowledge that I am setting a good example. I am demonstrating to the love of my life that she has a man that will work hard so we can enjoy the finer things in life. I am showing my readers that there is time to put in a full-time job and still pursue your passion. Most importantly, I am showing myself that I can be a self-disciplined man who will embody the values he puts forth to others.
Having a ‘why’ in our life will make everything easier. Like Inky said, “prospective drives performance.” We used the example of our job, but imagine putting this in place in…say…your relationship? Why put forth effort there? Personally speaking, I put forth maximum effort in my relationship for several reasons. Margie deserves nothing less. She deserves to know how much she is loved and valued. By treating their mother with respect, I am hoping to set a good example for her children to follow in their own lives. Again, I also have a moral responsibility to represent the values I teach others. Who follows anyone who is an example of “Do what I say and not what I do.”? What is your ‘why’? Does it represent the values you hold dear?
I love this quote by Leo Tolstoy. So often we are tempted to complain about the world and the state that it is in. Whether we are foolishly blaming a political party or race of people for the world’s trouble, or just venting out loud, we are missing the point. *spoiler alert* no political party, no matter how much we dislike them, gets together to figure out how to destroy the world. *spoiler alert 2* No race, culture or religion is filled with evil people whose soul focus is to destroy your way of life* These are just brainwashing techniques used to keep you in fear so your mind and emotions can be controlled.
If there is no specific “us against them” to rally against, how can we change the world? He is a short answer – we can’t. Here is a second short answer – we should not. Here is what I mean. In any relationship, you should never Focus on changing the other person. This is why many marriages fail.They have the right to live as they see fit and so do you. Expanding that to our global community, people have the right, so long as they are not directly harming others, to live, love and worship as they see fit. It is not on job, nor our responsibility to change them just because we do not agree with them. Just as we should not have to conform to their ways either.
If we can’t, nor should, change others, how can we change the world? Take advice from Mr. Tolstoy. We change ourselves. That is all we have complete control over. This works to change the world in 2 ways.
First, we lead by example. Parents, this especially true for you. Children may rarely listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do. It is not just Parents that have this responsibility. We are all being watched everyday. Especially in this world of social media and everyone walking around with cameras in their pockets. Make sure your actions positively inspire others. A great question to ask yourself is, “Would I be happy if everyone acted like me?” Before you are quick to think of how great that would be, stop and consider your faults. Would we like everyone to judge and insult based on religious or political affiliation? Would we want everyone to be quick tempered? To drive without using their turn signals?
The other way changing ourselves works to change the world is even more powerful, in my opinion. That is the law of reciprocation. You may have heard it stated as “whatever you sow, you reap” or “what you do comes back to you” However you word it, what we put out into the world becomes part of the world. If we are judgemental of others, the world becomes more judgemental. If we are harsh with our words, the world becomes a colder harsher place. This is the key to positively transforming the world.
Whenever we love others, we make the world more loving. When we stand up for the repressed and abused, the world becomes less tolerant of those behaviors. Whenever we allow those we disagree with to live as they see fit, the world becomes more loving and accepting. The only way we can truly do this is one person at a time, and that person is us. The only way we can change the hearts of the masses, is to first change our own. As Leo Tolstoy said, the only way we can change the world is by changing ourselves.
Just a reminder that in life, on any given day, we have the option to be grateful. It doesn’t matter how bad your situation is, or how much you would like it to be different. If we choose, and it is a choice, we can find what will allow us to feel grateful.
Even while striving to improve, it is vital to keep this in mind. Feeling stuck at your job, and would really like a new one? While you look and prepare, feel grateful 🙏 for having a job. Things not going well with someone at home? As you look to improve that relationship, be grateful you have someone to work with. Even the pain of losing someone we really love can make us realize how grateful we should feel for having loved so deeply.
This weekend, find that one thing, or a many things as you can, to be grateful for. Share some with the community here if you like. Then, just relax and really feel the gratitude for them. Get lost in it. Relish it. Have a great weekend my friends!😀
In life, there are certain things that we all go through. One of those things is change. We all face it in many areas of our life. When things are going great and we are happy, change can seem like a terrible thing. When we are struggling, change can seem to never come. Yet, come it will. No matter how certain things may seem, change will come. If the pandemic and the last few years of chaos have taught us anything, it is that things can change when we least expect it and do so quickly.
I hear a lot of people tell me, “Neil, I just don’t like change.” For anyone, that is only half true. You do not like change to things you know, like and are comfortable with. If there was something that caused you pain or inconvenience, you would not mind that changing at all. That is the first thing we must consider. Without change, none of the things we dislike would ever improve. That wouldn’t be too much fun would it? How about never getting a raise? We wouldn’t want our salary to change now would we? Never getting a new car? Wouldn’t want to change what we are driving. I think you get the point.
What about when it is something we like and are familiar with? We know how to do our job and do it well until some bigshot decides it should be done differently. Maybe that bigshot decides they don’t even need us doing the job anymore? Then we find ourselves out of the street. Not the type of change we enjoy. How about the change of someone we love passing? Probably the most painful change we have to endure. What do we do then? It takes a realization and a change in perception to deal with these changes. First, we must realize that change, like the law of gravity, doesn’t care if we like it or not. If we hate the law of gravity and throw a ball off of the roof, it will still go down, no matter how much we complain about the law of gravity. Same with change. It will always come, so complaining and getting upset will only cause us undue stress and wasted energy.
If change is not going to stop, and some of it really sucks, how can we still live an amazing life? Think of ourselves as a sailboat. What?! Yes, a sailboat. When a sailboat is trying to get from point A to point B and the wind changes, what does it do? Does it complain about the wind and say, “Well, I guess I am going in this other direction now.” I think you know the answer to that is no. What does it do? It adjusts the sails. Ah, there is the key to using change in our own life. Let us say, hypothetically of course, you are an author who wrote a book you hope will inspire a lot of people. You sell many copies and wait for the reviews to come in. Then you wait and wait some more. None come. Do you just say, “Well I guess that was a failure.” You could, or you can hire a PR firm and do your best to get yourself out there. You must adjust your sail. Maybe you have a job you thought you would retire from and the company goes out of business. You could complain about the change and tell everyone how it wasn’t your fault. Keep doing this and they will come and take your house away. You could also maybe go back to school, look for a job in a field you would enjoy more or find a job that better aligns with your purpose. Adjust your sail.
Change is constant for everyone. The better we learn to work with change instead of complaining about it, the more successful we will become. Think of your life as that sailboat. You are the captain. When the winds of life change, what are you going to do? Are you going to let your boat get tossed in the ocean of life, or are you going to grab hold of the helm and adjust your sail?
One of the most powerful forces in life is our identity. Whatever we think we are, we will not do anything to go against it. Even if we think that it will make our lives better. That is just how this crazy thing called a human works. If we tell everyone that we are a procrastinator, no matter how hard we try, we will always wait until the last minute to finish a project. If we say that we are an out of shape person, no diet or exercise program will work. There are very few things that we were born into that we cannot change. What keeps us stuck is the belief that our actions define who we are. What they really say is who we were.
To overcome this limiting pattern, all we have to do is change a few words. The language we use with others, and to a greater degree with ourselves, has a huge impact. Instead of saying that we are a procrastinator or out of shape, say we used to procrastinate or used to be unhealthy. This is a big difference. Our behaviors are not who we are, but what we do. We are not procrastination, we do procrastination. This may not seem to be a big deal on the surface, but to our subconscious mind, which runs about 90% of the show, it is a huge deal. If it feels we are doing anything against our identity, it will fight us tooth and nail. Better to change a few words and make that positive transition easier on ourselves.
Earlier in the year, we had a post that highlighted the importance of doing small things with a great deal of consistency. The example we used was doing 20 squats a day and the cumulative effect of doing so. After 1 day, you will not notice anything. Other than a little soreness, even after 1 week you might not notice much. After 30 days of doing squats, you are sure to notice the clothes fitting a little different and the reflection the mirror being a little more forgiving. If we are being honest, I didn’t do so good on the squats, but will get back at it for my yearly charity run
One of my goals this year was to have a blog a day for an entire year. As you can see in the picture above, we have made it 300 days straight. Actually, by the time you are reading this, it will be 303. As I have dedicated myself to bringing the world motivation and inspiration daily, my reward has been a growing global audience. This site has gained followers in several new countries. The amount of people viewing us daily has increased as well. Our presence on the great continent of Africa has nearly doubled. More people began following us in South America than ever. This includes in Peru, Brazil, Columbia and several other countries. This has happened in no small part because of the daily commitment of sharing these inspiring words.
What daily habits could you start today that will have a great impact on your life the rest of the year? Think the month of May is too late to start something new? Let me ask you how different you would feel if you did 20 squats a day for 7 months? Feel free to share your commitment with the community in the comments below.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 