If you read the above statement, you will know it is true. You are here to read it. That’s not to say you haven’t been nicked and bruised by life, but you survived! You have made it through many things you thought you couldn’t. Whatever you are facing, know you can make it through!
Before we get to the title of this post, let me give you the backstory. Life for a motivational author/blog writer/pod cast host is a 24/7 job. I cannot even go to the movies without my brain looking for what I can use to teach and inspire. This post, is another one of those examples.
The other morning, Margie and I found ourselves with some unexpected, and rare, free time. We both agreed going out for breakfast with each other would be fun. It is an activity we love. Something about sitting across the table from that adorable face early in the morning really makes me happy. We chose one of our favorite places, First Watch, to go eat. If you have one in your town, I suggest giving it a try. The have amazing choices and leave a pot of coffee on your table. Good stuff.
As we walked in, we were greeted with the smell of breakfast. You know what I am talking about. The smell of eggs frying, bacon sizzling and toast…well…toasting. As we sat down they gave us a menu of the specials. Some sounded really delicious and just like something Margie would enjoy. She looked at me and said, “I am getting the breakfast tacos. They make me happy.” As long as she is happy, I am happy. I began to think about how much breakfast with her makes me happy. In addition, the smell of toast. Just fills my mind with thoughts of fun breakfasts we have shared. The place is decorated fun and reminds us a little of vacation.
Then I thought again what Margie had said about the tacos and it hit me! An inspirational thought, not a taco. People spend years searching high and low for the secret of happiness and all they had to do is order some tacos. I can hear a large percentage of you nodding and shouting in agreement. More than delicious flavor, the tacos gave me, and now you, a great secret to adding more joy to our lives. Margie loves those tacos, so she looks forward to ordering them. We go to this place perhaps once a month. She knows that she can look forward to this delicious breakfast that adds joy to her life.
The secret that came to me will work even for those rare and strange souls who do not like tacos. The secret is this – find those little things that add joy to your life. That could be the smell of toast, like it was for me. It can be a walk in nature like it is for my mother. It can be a plate of delicious breakfast tacos like it is for the love of my life. Then, schedule those things into your life. Not too often where they become mundane, but often enough you can look forward to them. They work even better if you include some friends. Margarita night with the girls? Fishing trip with the guys? Even a trip to your favorite local breakfast place for some breakfast tacos with the love of your life. Give yourself that little joy to look forward too. It will make the rest of your life a lot easier to take.
It is Friday. We are dealing with everything this past week has thrown at us. Sometimes we can feel like just giving up. I want to call to your attention the quote from Duke Ellington above. Let us consider the man for an example. He was a composer and amazing piano player. He wrote or collaborated on more than one thousands compositions. That is mind-blowing in itself. He did all of this during a period in American history when racism was not only present, but was rampant. Despite this, he wrote and recorded some of the most beautiful music in history.
Facing such social limitations I can only imagine would frustrate Mr. Ellington and, at least on occasion, make him feel like giving up. He did not and because of that, he was able to make a living doing what he loved. He also has schools, bridges and a host of other things named after him. How did he manage not to give up? I am not sure we can know all of his secrets, but one of them was pursuing what he was passionate about. When you are doing what you love, it can get you through some of the toughest times.
As this week draws to a close, spend some time doing what you love with those you love. Strengthen your ‘why’ and write down reasons why you should not give up. We may never face some of the challenges Duke Ellington did. We might face ones that seem even more difficult to overcome. What we can do is take his advice and never give up. By doing so we can leave our own legacy. One that says, “Here is someone who never gave up.”
One of the best ways to develop your character is to treat people in ways that reflect it. If you want to be someone who is considered generous, make sure to be giving to others. This can be in many ways such as your time, your energy or your understanding. If you want to be someone known for their compassion, treat people not as they deserve, but better than they deserve. Try to understand why someone acts out of pain and frustration rather than just looking at their actions. All of these can be tricky, but remember how you act is a reflection of who you are.
One of the most important things to remember in life is that we cannot control what happens to us, but we have complete control to how we react. That is where our power is. If we are just a slave to our emotions, we give that power up. If that is where you find yourself currently, you can regain that power. It takes effort and practice, but it is worth it. Not allowing circumstances to determine our emotional state is one of the secrets to an amazing life. Just keep in mind that we should treat people how we are, not how they are or because of what they can get us. How do your actions and the way you treat people reflect who you are?
When I saw this quote, I had to pause and give it some thought. In my second book, Living the Dream, I have an entire section on the 3 levels in which we live our lives and how they effect each other. Certainly a good read. When I wrote that, I was just beginning to learn about that aspect of life. Years later, as I write this post, I can see it in operation. That is why I would like to take a moment to talk about these STDs – spiritually transmitted diseases. They are even more harmful than we might think.
In today’s society, it seems there is very little mention or discussion of the spirit. This is a shame, because in my opinion, it is not only what makes us human, but is one third of who we are. When our spirit is sick, it affects every aspect of our lives. When we are feeling spiritually drained, our ability to concentrate and think clearly is all but nonexistent. When our heart is hurting our energy levels plummet, our immune system tanks and physically we are no good. In other words, when we have a STD, spiritually transmitted disease, it affects our physical and mental well-being too.
Last post we discussed the importance of self-care and what it can help you bring to others. If you missed that post, I encourage you to go back and give it a look. It is obvious that we really need to practice some spiritual self-care. We need to keep our spirit healthy and make sure we do not catch an STD. Try to eliminate or limit your exposure to those things that contaminate your spirit. Make sure to take time to do those things that strengthen your spirit and fill your soul. Take time to practice your faith, whatever that may be. Help others. That always makes the soul feel good. Try some of the items listed above. What are some of the things that you do to strengthen your spiritual well-being? Please share with the rest of us so that we may all have a strong spirit and be STD free.
It is shocking that even in this day and age, self-care is considered selfish by many. This could not be further from the truth. There are many reasons why this is so, but we are going to look at two that I think we should consider. The first should be rather obvious. When you work on healing yourself, be that from a personal trauma, or just from the stress of daily life, you allow your best self to shine through. Why is this so important? You then become the best version of yourself. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to others. Showing up to meet your friend for coffee when you are lacking sleep, barely able to concentrate on what they are saying and falling asleep when they are talking is not that great of a gift. Sure, it is great that you are spending time with them, but it is not quality time. Now, saying, “I am sorry I need to get some rest. How about meeting next week?” may seem selfish. If you show up next week and are able to not only to stay awake for their story about sick aunt Agnes, but offer valuable insight on their story as well, that is a far greater gift.
Bringing your best self to any situation is a great gift. It means you are being the best parent, the best friend and the best lover. Taking the time to heal and make sure you are able to share your gifts with those around you is not selfish at all. In fact, by taking the time to bring your best self, you are giving them a gift. You are giving them the best of you that you can.
The second reason that self-care is not selfish may be even more important. The knowledge you gain and are able to share. When you discover ways to heal yourself, you can pass those ways on to others. Maybe you are really busy and live a stressful life. You find ways to balance that stress and not get overwhelmed. How do you do that? Do you think there are other people who would like to know how to do that as well? I bet there are. Have you found a way to heal your soul after losing someone very close to you? Taking that time, and engaging in those practices, will allow you to help someone else heal too. That is one of the best things we can put out into the universe, to help others heal. If you rush through life, do not take time to heal yourself, it will not only cost you, but it will cost others. You will show up as only a shell of yourself. You will not learn any healing methods that work for you and may help others. To me, this is far more selfish than taking time for yourself.
Take time for that meditation or yoga retreat. If you need to say “No”, than do it. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is actually one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you and the world itself. Taking care of ourselves will allow us to share the best of who we are and every healing modality we learn. Self-care is not only care for ourselves, but it is one of the best things we can do to care for others.
There are many self-improvement aspects that seem like an obvious conclusion to me. One of those is that you tend to be like the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Stop and take a mental inventory of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Can you see things you all have in common? The ironic thing is that this is one of the things people really seem to push back on. I am not sure why. If you surround yourself with people who are poor and struggling to manage their money, it is highly unlikely you will learn any financial skills from them. “I am going to be the difference!” I hear people say all of the time. It is true, that you could be the one who changes the group you hang out in. It is rather like swimming up stream, however.
Let us say you are trying to live a life that is more positive and inspired. Your friends, on the other hand, are a rather negative bunch. While you may be reading inspirational books, listening to some inspiring podcasts and whatever else you can think of to change your state, you are going to be surrounded by people who are pointing out what is wrong in the world, telling you about their medical problems, and generally being in a depressed state. That will make it a little more difficult for you to look on the sunny side of the street. Going back to our earlier financial example, if you are looking to get yourself on a good financial footing, but your friends constantly find themselves brook, it could be a long road. Maybe you could read books on investing, talk to a financial advisor and set up an automatic savings deposit. However, your friends will be showing your their purchases from Amazon, ordering out dinner every night, wearing the most expensive brand shoes and clothes and wondering how to pay the electric bill. Which one of them will help assure you of a happy retirement?
I am not telling you that you have to get rid of all of your friends, or even some of your friends. Merely suggesting that if you would like to improve your life and do so in an easier way, you might want to consider who you spend a good deal of time around. Think of people who embody traits you would like to have. Consider those people who you feel could teach, inspire and encourage you on your journey. Then, make a point of taking them out to dinner or for a coffee. Just soak up their energy. While doing so make sure to share yours as well. Be authentically yourself. You will shine your light and attract those who you can serve by just being you. The greatest part about this life-improving lesson is that you have total control over it. Who you choose to spend your time around, for the most part, is up to you. Make sure you make this decision wisely as it has a great impact.
Here at Secret2anamazinglife.com, we want to wish all of the moms a big thank you for the part they played in making us who we are.
Make sure to take a moment today to acknowledge in your heart your wonderful mother. If you no longer have your mother with you, take a moment to feel that gratitude 🙏 for all of the love they have given you. ❤️
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there from all of us at secret2anamazinglife.com! We love you and hope you enjoy your special day.
Anyone who knows me knows that I find superstition to be a foolish endeavor. Do you really expect me to believe that because my path happens to cross that of a well-shaded feline that my day will suck? How about after a few shots of tequila, when I reach for the salt shaker and knock it over, that fortunes in my life will go south? Not likely. Now if I spilled the tequila, that’s a different story.
My problem with superstition is this – it is always negative. Some of you may ask why some of these hold true for you. Quick answer – law off attraction. What do I mean? Where we put our focus creates our reality. If an event occurs, such as accidentally walking under a ladder, we expect to have misfortune.
Even the date this post is written on, Saturday the 13th. Before you tell me that I made a mistake and it is Friday the 13th that is unlucky, let me ask you why? Have you never had anything good happen on Friday the 13th? I get paid on Fridays. I’m certainly not going to turn down a check if it is on the 13th. Again, if we expect something to go wrong on that day, we will be looking for it. Guess what? We will find it too. Because it is Friday the 13th? No. Because good and bad things happen every day.
My frustration with all of this gave me a great idea. Let us all create a positive superstition! They only have to make sense to us. Such as,”every time a blue car passes me, I’m about to meet someone friendly” or “whenever a see a star, I’ll be reminded of something to be grateful for. ”
These are no more real than the negative ones, but will at least have our minds looking for something positive instead of something negative. Using the part of our brain called the R.A.S, or reticular activating system, will prompt our subconscious mind to look for what we expect. Feel free to research the science behind it. It is the same way it works for the negative, only we are putting it to work for us instead of against us.
Next time you find yourself uttering some foolish line about bad things coming in three, stop right there and ask yourself how come good things don’t come in four or six for that matter? The truth is not in any superstition, it is in what we focus on. Let us create a positive superstition that will work to improve our lives. I want to hear yours. Be creative. What fun self-empowering superstition can we come up with?
One of the great secrets of life we seem to be losing is the ability of being truly present. There are cell phones which keep us focused on anything but what,or who, is in front of us. It is not just technology. Many people are preoccupied with fear and worry. What could go wrong? They often miss what is going right.
It is not just negative things either. I’ve seen people walking in a beautiful natural setting focused solely on how many calories they are burning, and missing the beautiful birds, trees and animals all around them. It would seem we are too busy worrying about life, looking at other people’s lives and trying to improve our own life to actually experience life.
One good way I have found to help is stay focused is kind if counter-intuitive. Pretend you are acting in the movie of your life. When an actor is playing a roll, they have to be extremely focused. They pay attention to their lines (what they are saying) but also to how they deliver them. (How they are saying what they are saying) They consider how their performance will make the audience (other people in our lives) feel.
This is also a good way to become the type of person you want to be. When we think about how that person would act talk and think to play that roll, we can adjust our behavior to fill that roll. Eventually, we become that person. Want to be a person who has good control of their emotions? How about someone who makes others feel good about themselves? Try to act as they would. Soon, you will become them.
As a bonus, you will be intensely focused on the moment. You will see the birds and the animals. You will enjoy the company of the person in front of you and not the person on the screen you are staring at.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 