Month: August 2022

IT IS NOT THE HOURS YOU PUT IN

Every morning I listen to something motivational. I recently downloaded an app to my phone called Fresh Motivation. I like it because it allows you to listen to a host of motivational videos while you have a black screen on your phone. This allows you to save battery life. Most of these videos have a mix of different people speaking. This morning I heard a video that featured Jim Rohn. If you have not listened to Mr. Rohn, I suggest you check him out. You could even do it with the free app I mentioned earlier.

In this particular video, he said something that really struck me, and I wanted to share it with you. The quote I remember was, “It is not the hours you put in. It is what you put in the hours.” He said a lot of people say “I am not getting anything done, but I am so busy.” To which he said he asked, “Doing what?” At my work we have people who seem to run around like their pants are on fire, but they seem to make very little progress, or are always behind. Then, we have people who are the opposite. They seem to look like they are barely working, but accomplish many times more than the people who are running around are doing.

How about you? Are there times when you feel like you are working like crazy and not getting anything done? You must ask yourself, what are you putting in the hours that you are putting in? Are they full of distractions? You can work in the yard cutting grass for hours, but if that is also filled with stopping to text friends or watch amusing YouTube videos, you may find yourself with a half mown yard. Same in the gym. I see people who spend more time exercising their thumb muscles on their phone, than their other muscles on the machines they are sitting on.

How do we remedy this problem? There are countless programs and books on ways to increase productivity. They certainly would be worth checking out. One simple idea to start with is to record everything you do, and the time it takes, for an entire day. Something like this…

woke up at 7am

hit snooze until 710

brushed teeth from 711 to 715

made coffee from 715 to 717

Account for every single minute and every activity of your day. If you are mowing the lawn and you stope to text a friend or watch a video, record that. Be honest with yourself. There is no point in saying ‘cut lawn from noon to 2pm’ if really you watched YouTube from 12:05 to 12:15, surfed Facebook from 12:30 to 12:45, and had a text conversation with Betty from 1:07 to 1:13. Be honest about what you spend your time on. Nobody will see this but you. If you are truly looking to increase your productivity and reduce your stress, this honest evaluation will go a long way in accomplishing that.

This may also have the added bonus of showing when you are most productive. This way you can learn when to schedule most of your projects you are working on. Try this for a week and you will be surprised to learn how much time you spend on foolish things and how easy it would be to improve your efforts.

IT’S THE WEEKEND. THINK LIGHTLY

This weekend, keep it simple. Fill your heart with gratitude and appreciation. The 3 feelings of gratitude. 1.) Gratitude for everything you’ve been given in your life. 2) Gratitude for everything your currently have in your life. 3) Gratitude for all the blessings on their way.

Keep your focus on being grateful this weekend and watch your heart fill with joy.

HAVE BOTH THIS WEEKEND!😃

As Margie can testify, I am terrible at this. When people asked how my recent vacation was, I answer, “Not as productive as I would have liked.” Who really wants their vacation to be productive? I guess that would be me. I wanted to have my third book out by now, wanted to have my podcast up and running. Neither of those have been completed.

If there is a skill I am lacking, it is how to relax properly. I have 62 of the 102 typed pages edited for my new book. I also set up and did the cover art for my upcoming podcast. I have to realize not every day you can move mountains. So should you. The days on the couch can often be necessary for recovery and recharging. Take them, just don’t take too many of them.

I must remind myself about the photo above. With 6, soon to be 7, jobs there is always something going on in my life. Add to that, time with a very sexy lady and my days are booked! Still, it is important to take time to unwind. Make sure you have both a productive and relaxing weekend.

WHY I LOVE PAIN

This title may be a little misleading. I do not actually love pain. Especially in the moment. I am not sure anyone does. What I do feel is respect for pain. I know in pain and darkness is where some of the greatest growth happens. I was reminded of this late last week. It is fairly obvious when it comes to physical fitness. The pain you feel in your muscles is what proceeds the growth of new muscle. The pain of deprivation and self-sacrifice when you are improving your diet will lead to the growth of a healthier you. These are all pretty obvious situations. Sometimes pain is sneaky and the growth is not so easy to understand until you can look back.

Last week I had one of those sneaky moments. I am still not 100% sure why, but I am guessing a host of personal situations that occurred had me feeling down. It can be quite frustrating when you feel down and you just can’t put your finger on exactly why. I decided to get some writing done. I went to the local coffee shop and started to write some blogs. They felt a little dark, but they were very introspective. After I was done writing, it occurred to me that often this can be the result of me feeling in a funk. I get in my own head and really start thinking about my life and how I am living it. Then, I come up with some pretty interesting conclusions. Ones that would probably not have come to me if I was running around with a smile on my face and in my heart.

Many people assume that being happy 100% of the time should be a goal. I disagree. I think a little pain is good for us all. What we should try to do is limit the duration and frequency of that pain. On the other end of the spectrum, we should try to maximize the profitability of our pain. What I mean by that is we should try to get the most out of a painful situation. It can be tempting to wallow in self-pity or sadness. I know just as well as anyone how good that can feel. Here is a little secret, it doesn’t get you very far. Certainly, give those feelings their due, but then put them to work for you. Suffering the pain of regret after losing someone? Let it be the kick in the butt to be more loving to those you still have. Sad because the person you thought you would be with forever had a far shorter definition of the word than you did? Learn from that. Were there red flags you overlooked? Is there something you can improve about yourself?

Pain can suck. There is no way around that. What makes it ten times worse, is if you don’t get anything out of it. Imagine going to the gym once, feeling sore, waiting weeks until you feel better and then repeating it. Not only would you feel sore again, you would not be any closer to being in shape. The pain of losing a job for being late and then showing up 30 minutes after the start time for your new job. None of this would make sense. Put pain to work for you. Don’t let it run you!

PRAISE THE SMALL STEPS

It is Wednesday, hump day, the middle of the week. Whatever you choose to call it, many of us pause and evaluate the week at this point. Most of us, especially high achievers, tend to look at everything we have yet to accomplish. While this may be good for developing a plan of action and noting what time we have to complete projects, it may hinder their actual completion. How is this possible? The emotional state change that causes can have some very negative consequences.

The first thing this can do is make us feel overwhelmed. We were starting that new diet and only made it two days so far? We really have three more days to go? It was so hard not eating the doughnuts in the breakroom on Monday and Tuesday. How will we be able to make it the rest of the week? This can lead to a desire to just give up. If we flip that on its head and say to ourselves “I have already made it two days on the new diet! No doughnut can defeat me now!” We give ourselves momentum and praise our accomplishments.

The other thing that focusing on what has yet to be done can make us feel like a failure. This is very counterproductive. In the baby example, can you imagine yelling at your kid, “Would you stop that falling and give up already!” This is often what we do to ourselves. It can also be what we do to others when we are constantly pointing out where they fell short. It will only lead to them not wanting to press on. If, like we do with children learning to walk, we praise the little steps they complete, it will lead to them wanting to push on.

Today let us take a second and congratulate ourselves and each other on all that we have accomplished so far this week. Let us give a little encouragement for the rest of the week ahead. Not only to others, but to the one who lives between our own two ears.

YOU JUST NEED TO RECONNECT

In a world of adulting and Bill paying, sometimes you need to reconnect with the simple joys of life. Above is a picture of an alpaca. Animals can bring us a great amount of joy. Whether that is a family pet, going to the park to watch the birds, or even an alpaca at the state fair, Animals rarely fail to put a smile on our face!

Animals not your thing? Maybe you have an allergic issue that prevents you from enjoying them? Maybe you would just like to have another outlet to bring you joy? How about going back to simple childhood activities? In an age of cell phones and high resolution video games, it can be refreshing to pick up a crayon and draw a picture. That is just what my lovely lady is doing in the picture above! We, for some reason, feel we should leave these activities behind as we grow older. Truth is, as adults, we may need them more than ever!

What simple activity do you practice to bring you joy?

DO A LITTLE OF THIS DURING THE WEEK

Many of us limit our exploration of nature to weekend hikes, or some even to a yearly vacation. There are many physical and psychological benefits to spending time in nature. This week, take a walk in a park. Spend some time reading in the woods. Spend some time with nature.

USE PEOPLE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Let us be clear right from the start, I am not advocating using people in any negative form whatsoever. Quite the opposite. When we are finished with our brief time here together, I think you will have a new appreciation for what ‘using people’ can mean. To illustrate, I would love to share two personal stories of mine with you. The first involves a very early childhood friend. Let us call him Andy because, well, that is what his name was. He was one of my very first good friends. I am thinking somewhere near the age of 3 or 4. I remember he had bright red hair and that we pretty much did everything together. Then, in second grade, he moved away. We never exchanged addresses or phone numbers. To this day, I do not even know what happened to my early childhood friend.

I could blame my lack of thought regarding Andy on the fact that I was only 7 years old. You don’t really think too much about the future when you are that age. That would be fine, except one little problem. Take a look at the picture above. That is a picture of mine and Margie’s friends Curtis and Danie, with their son. They used to run a coffee shop/cafe in town. Both very nice people and I am sure their son will be an outstanding gentleman as he grows up. This wonderful family moved out west to pursue their dreams for their future. Here is the ironic thing. Before they left, Margie and I were saying how much fun it would be to spend some time with them just relaxing and doing fun things. Every time we saw each other, we would say something like, “Yes! Let us set something up!” All of our lives were busy, and sadly, that moment never happened.

Unlike my story with Andy, we at least are able to keep track via social media. In fact, as I wrote this, I messaged Curtis to let him know I was writing something about him. It would seem that I have learned little or nothing in the 40 years since my friend Andy moved away. Before you judge me, ask yourself one question. How many times have you said to yourself, “Man I wish I would have _____ with that person. Now it is too late.” This can hold true of people who moved away or even people who have passed on. We look back and think of how foolish we spent the time that we had with them. That is not to say every second has to be be planned and accounted for. Sometimes, the goal might just to be fully present and focused on enjoying time with someone. Taking time to enjoy their jokes, their voice or the way they look at a certain situation.

I encourage you to think of someone who is important in your life. How can you better use the time with them? Is there a certain activity you wish to do with them? Maybe it is as simple as spending a quiet dinner just slowing down and enjoying each others company? It may seem like work to rearrange a schedule and make things happen. Do you know what is even more work? Living with the weight of regret that you did not make the most of people and moments when you had the chance. I advocate using people. Use them to show love. Use them to show how much you care. Use them to create wonderful memories with. Use them to show your appreciation for the wonderful humans they are. Use people…before it is too late.

TIME FLIES WHEN YOU ARE… UM… GETTING OLD?

There are certain things I recall hearing as a child that made absolutely no sense to me. One of them was, “Once you get older, time really seems to fly.” I recall thinking how absurd this sounded. A day is a day, a week is a week and a year is a year, no matter how old you are. Then it happened – I got old. Where some people may debate as to what age this happens, there is a certain intellectual stage you reach where I think life starts to change. Perhaps it is because I am at an age where I have lived more years than I have left to live? I am on the downhill, if you care to look at it that way. There is a quote from the movie The Crow, which is a movie I rather enjoy, in which the bad guy says “Childhood is over the moment you know you’re gonna die.” I am not sure I 100% agree with this. I believe that realizing you are going to die is one of the best motivations to start living. I do think something changes though. There is a certain sober reality that sets in.

When this happens, I think the time speeding up issue begins. In my case, my vacation, and the warm weather, is drawing to a close soon. It seems like yesterday that I was wishing for warmer weather. It also feels like the cooler weather comes quicker every year. In an odd twist of fate, it seems the colder weather lasts longer. I am going to have to figure that one out. It seems that I have been working on putting together my third book and podcast for a while and time just seems to fly by. The question becomes, “How does this happen?” and “What can we do to hold on to time?”

Most of us take the approach of this guy in the picture above. We run around trying to ‘catch time’. Oddly enough, this can have the opposite effect. I think the answer to both of our questions can be found in the picture at the beginning of this post. I believe the best way to treasure a moment and to hang on to time is to become more present. In a world where more and more information is flying at us, and we feed on distraction, it is a real battle to be present. If you do not believe me, look where any large group is gathered and count the amount of people who are staring at cell phones. It seems this percentage increases by the day. If it involves waiting of any kind, the percentage can approach 100%. Sure, it is no fun to wait, but often that might be the only time we have to ourselves and our thoughts. We may think of and notice things that we miss in our busy world.

What is crazy is how often we do this when we could be better involved in far more pleasurable activities. I see couples out to dinner where both of them are sitting across from each other on their phones. In a few years, I would imagine these couples will either wonder where all the time went, or find themselves drifting apart wondering why their connection has seemed to lesson. The same holds true for families, friends and even coworkers. It is not just cell phones. There are video games, computers and a million other distractions. None of these things are bad in and of themselves. We just need to practice them all in moderation.

We could fill this website with ways that can help you remain present. There are a few articles on here to do so. There are also books, cds and many other resources that could assist in this activity. My suggestion? Take time throughout the day to be an active observer of your environment. What this means is to notice every sound you hear. Note every smell that is in the air. Take time to really listen and appreciate those you are spending time with. When you eat, for example, slow down and notice subtle flavors, textures and scent of the food instead of trying to consume it quickly so you can move on to your next activity. I would LOVE to hear your suggestions for slowing down time and savoring the good moments.

MORNING RITUAL 🌄

Last post, we looked at why waking up even ten minutes earlier could benefit you. In case you missed that, I will give you a quick recap. In my own life, I was able to work in some mild exercise to get my blood pumping and my mind moving. I was also able to make my coffee, get dressed and do everything else in a less stressful fashion. Anytime you can reduce stress in your life, that is a win. Not hitting the snooze may sound like additional stress, but it really is not. Do you know what is stressful? Hearing the alarm in the first place! When you hit snooze, you get to have that stress an additional time…or two…or three. Not to mention the 5 or 10 minutes between hitting snooze and the alarm going off again are not filled with blissful slumber. In fact, most of the time it is filled with the dread of hearing the alarm.

The stress of waking up only lasts a moment. Once you are out of bad and standing up, it usually dissipates fairly quickly. Unfortunately, if you have hit snooze too many times it is usually replaced by the stress of running late and trying to get ready. The key is to fill your morning with things you look forward too. These are morning rituals. There have been many listed in the pictures above. We will look at what some high achievers do in the picture below. In the meantime, think of what rituals would work for you. Would some simple stretching help to get your body limber before your morning commute? How about being able to make your coffee with time to enjoy the aroma and maybe even a sip or two before you head out the door? How would reading something inspirational affect your mindset first thing in the morning?

After you make a list of morning rituals you would like to incorporate, then decide how long each would take. Set your alarm accordingly. If you hit snooze, you will know that you will have to forgo one of these items that will make your life better. That may help get you up and out of bed. After a few days of going through your morning rituals, you will feel how starting your day less stressed and more inspired will feel. Do this for a week and you will not want to stop. I can speak from personal experience. When I did not hit the snooze, my mornings, and by consequence my days, were a lot less stressful.

Here are a few of the things some people you may recognize do with their mornings. You may notice it is a nice blend of productivity and stress relief. I suggest the same for us. If you are thinking, “Neil, this all sounds great but that would mean I would have to get up an hour early!” I would tell you two things. First, there is a great book called Miracle Morning that I would recommend you check out. It will have you realize that an hour early could change your life. It will also show you how to do this in as little as 6 minutes. The other suggestion is to divide it up by day. Your Monday morning ritual may involve something to get you fired up. Your Tuesday may involve something to ground you. You can switch between exercise, stretching, meditation, journaling and just five minutes of meaningful silence. Before you know it, you may want to do a few of each and find yourself setting the alarm a few minutes early!

I would love to know what your current morning ritual is and what you would like to add to it. As for me, when I go back to work, I am going to get back to my planks, squats and reading my motivational day by day calendar. I would love to hear yours in the comments below.