WHY WE ARE ALL TIRED 

This quote comes to us courtesy of the movie “The Green Mile”. In todays world of extreme politics and social conflict there has been a fair share of ugliness. On social media everyday we see conflicting opinions which are healthy when presented in a healthy way. We also see our share of name calling, and sarcastic portrayals of those who have a different opinion than that of the person doing the posting.

Let us take a step back and look at what this accomplishes. Some may say it causes the person posting to be a little happier and that may be true, only temporarily. You see in order to post something like that the person has to focus on this conflict and the low opinion they have of that group. How “Stupid” there are or how “Hateful, Racist or evil” they are. Try saying these words out loud three times, “Stupid, hate, racist and evil”. If you are unable to try even saying them to yourself. Do it now, I’ll wait….Ok, how does that make you feel physically? Did you notice an effect? Even focusing on things we strongly dislike and thinking about them make us feel sick. It can even make us feel helpless. Plus, remember what we said about the RAS and how the brain seems to begin to notice more of what we focus on?

So should we ignore all the injustice we see? Absolutely not! What we should focus on is solutions we can think of. Perhaps find examples of people or situations that are the opposite of those that upset us. We will still be victim to reading how wrong we are for feeling what we feel, but understand as much as we may disagree with someone they have a right to feel as they do too. Again going back to the golden rule, we no more want to hear that we have no right to feel as we do or are stupid, evil or any other negative term for doing so than anyone else does. Not to mention by attacking others we only add to the feeling and atmosphere of hate and conflict.

Here is what I suggest. Does racism bother you? Then promote everyone getting along. Does war leave you feeling sad? Then promote peace. Poverty leave you feeling sick and helpless? Promote an atmosphere of giving and everyone having enough. It was this very thinking that caused me to embark on the life path I am on now. It was my disgust at the vast amount of negativity in the world that had me determined to begin to promote positivity and to provide tools to help others do the same.

So next time you catch yourself saying “Did you see what that person/politician/company did?” ask yourself, “What am I doing?”. Sure maybe we cannot make as big of a difference as the president of the United States, or Walmart, but all of us doing little acts of kindness and love can counterbalance those doing that which we disagree with.

I invite you all to share groups that do good or even your own ideas to promote love instead of bashing hate. Let us all work to be a little less ugly to each other and make the world a little more beautiful.

LET US CELEBRATE EACH OTHER

Here is an idea that could both make your life one continuous party (minus the hangovers) as well as cause you to be a lot more popular with your friends and strengthen your relationships. Ready to hear the idea?

Before we get to what this amazing and fun idea is, I should warn you of the side effects that is comes with. First, it will help you realize your goals a lot quicker. Second whenever you reach a goal, or something good happens to you suddenly you will find yourself surrounded by a lot more people celebrating with you. Finally, even when times are dark or challenging you will find you have a lot more cheerleaders and encouragers. Plus, there will still be things to celebrate when life is throwing you a curve ball.

Here is the simple thing we can do that can accomplish all of this. We can learn to celebrate good that comes to as many as others as we can. Once you start this you will be amazed at what happens. First, when you genuinely are as happy for the success of others as you are for your own people pick up on that. Have you ever had something really amazing happen to you and couldn’t wait to share it with someone and when you do they really seem not to care? It is a bit of downer isn’t it? The next time that you get a piece of good fortune you are not likely to share it with that person. Now on the opposite side of things when you have friends who take pride in your accomplishments, as we should it makes everything more amazing and makes you feel good about sharing with those people.

So we can see how it helps the person celebrating but what about those celebrating for someone else? First of all you notice that people celebrate different things. If you have a friend who just got out of the hospital after a trying ordeal that is worth celebrating. It may even cause you to take a look at things you may not be celebrating in your own life. Like your health or the fact you did not have to be in the hospital. Also celebrating feels good, whether it is you or another person. So it is a great way to add additional joy into your life. Also having pride in your friends accomplishments will encourage them to have pride in yours. If your friend Johnny celebrated with you when you finally stopped smoking and was genuinely happy for you and then Johnny calls you up to tell you he has finally met his weight loss goals wouldn’t you want to return the favor? Same with people who are struggling. If you have somebody sticking by your side when the going gets tough, you are certainly going to be there for them when they need it.

As you can see doing this can really go a long way to cementing good relationships. It can also help you accomplish your goals and give you more to celebrate. How? By activating a part of your brain called the reticulating activating system or RAS. Have you ever bought a particular outfit and then seen the outfit everywhere? Let me ask you did everyone just buy the outfit the same time you did? Of course not. Then what happened? The outfit was always there, but now that you bought it your brain recognized it as something worth noting. The same thing happens when we start celebrating things. Your brain then begins to look for, and here is the real bonus, create things worth celebrating. A good way to begin this is by asking yourself a question I learned from Michael Beckwith. Ask yourself every morning “What can I celebrate today?”. Eventually you will see a bit of good news, or your friend will share some or something will happen to you worth celebrating. Plus you will begin to feel like everyday is a party. This is actually how life should feel.

So start celebrating with me today! Feel free to share something you are celebrating for yourself or someone else in the comments below!

NOT WHAT I THOUGHT

This picture shows that I now have 1000 likes on my blog. That alone is a thought that is very humbling. 1000 people all like the same thing and it happens to be the content that I put out on this very blog you are reading. This is the subject I fully intended to write about this fine day. As happens often with writers and inspiration, something went left when I thought it would go right.

What am I talking about? A new fun and exciting thing we can all try together that will not only put a smile on our faces and hearts but make our life far more amazing. Are you in? This simple exercise requires three things. 1. a pen 2. a small journal or notebook. 3. a fairly good sense of introspection and observation. That’s it. No complicated tools, no degree from a famous university, no occult secret and no magic formula.

Ok, so what on earth is this activity. Here is the story of how this post came to be and this idea came to me. For the last two or three days I have not been feeling well. Some sort of stomach flu or something. Spent most of that time laying in bed. My car issues are on the way to a wonderful conclusion and things around the house have been crazy. What I really needed was some relaxing quality time with my lady. So we decided to go to the mall today for lunch and she was going to shop while I wrote. She is actually there now so I better make this short so I can pick her up.

We decided to check out a new brew pub that just opened up there. We were greeted friendly and could feel a very positive vibe right off the bat. We saw a few friends while we were there and I exchanged information with a gentleman also on the path to self-enlightenment. It was a marvelous experience. Not to mention after lots of stress physically and emotionally both my lady and I were smiling and actually had some time together. As I left to write this, the sun was shining and it was not to insanely cold, which for Wisconsin this time of year is a win. I began to just think of all of these things and then it hit me. A great idea! A fun idea! A life transforming idea!

Enough with the story behind the idea, here is the idea. I was going to write about 1000 different people all liking my blog and how that felt like such an honor. These people come from over 70 different countries, across all social, religious and political fields. Then the idea came to me. I bet this one person (that would be me, which at the time I guess I was referring to in the third person) likes 1000 different things. I started noticing the afore mentioned things I was enjoying. The sunshine, the nice people I met, the amazing time with my lady. Guess what? I had me feeling as if I were floating instead of walking. I thought “wouldn’t it be great to feel like this more often?”. Then, as I am want to do I followed that with the thought “How can I?”. The solution my friends is simple, fun and I am going to share it now.

Keep a journal of what makes you happy. That’s it? Yes, that is it. Whatever it may be. Sunshine, balloons, penguins, the way the person you love smiles at you. Write them down in a special journal. Do it whenever the mood strikes you. Just keep the journal handy. Why write them down? It makes it more visceral. Not to mention when you open to write the next time you will be greeted by the last things that make you happy.

What can you do with this information? Lots of things. You can use it when you are feeling down for things to try to turn things around. When loved ones ask you what you might enjoy doing or what gift you may enjoy ideas are there. Looking for things to put in a gratitude journal? How about things that make you happy. Not to mention something else happens that makes life more of an enjoyable adventure rather than a arduous task. You become more aware of the things that make you happy when they occur.

I am blessed to have a lady in my life that has a very unique skill. When I am down and suddenly listing things that all suck in my life (Yes even self-improvement authors have these moments) she is quick to point out things that are going right, or could go right. This can seem slightly annoying when I just feel like complaining, but let me tell you it is an amazing blessing, because it gets me out of that state. I can only imagine doing this fun activity will only make her job easier. Another bonus I just thought of, if she reads my happy journal she will know lots of things that make her man happy.

So please will you try this activity with me? Share this with all of your friends. Let us all be happier in 2017!

BE IT NOW!!

Looking at this picture I long to be here! Anyone who knows me will tell you I belong in the tropics. As I write this I am in West Allis Wisconsin where presently it is cold and snowing. What can all of this possibly have to do with the power of choice we have been discussing all week? Plenty.

If all I did was sit here behind my keyboard and complain I really wouldn’t get anywhere. Not to mention any great goal needs to be first seen in the mind. If you do not know exactly where you want to go how do you ever hope to get there? How will you know you are moving toward where you want to go or away from it?

A lot of people say “I want to be successful” or “I want to be rich”. What exactly do those two things mean to you? Is rich a certain amount of money? Does it only have to do with money? I know of some people who have money, but no peace in their life and a lot of stress. To me, that is not rich. As far as successful, that is way to broad of term.

So, how do we get clear on what we would like our lives to be? I am going to give you a secret little process you can do that not only helps you focus and put more of your mind to work to help accomplish your goals, but can be so much fun. This secret was first shared with me by my good friend Sharon at one of her journaling classes she taught. It both serves as a mental vacation, and puts the law of attraction to work for you. Are you ready to learn this powerful secret? Grab a pen and some paper and follow me. Second thought as I mentioned it is cold and snowing here, maybe I will follow you.

Sit down, close your eyes (obviously not good to do while driving although I swear some of the people I share the road with are doing this) Begin to think about a day in your dream life. Start by what happens when you first wake up. What time is it? Where are you? Who are you waking up to? Try to use all of your senses. Do you smell fresh brewed coffee? To you feel the ocean breeze through the open widow? Do you hear the crashing of waves or perhaps the song of birds? Does breakfast come to you in bed from your butler? Maybe you go into your spacious kitchen to make yourself some Kodiak power cakes (sorry personal favorite). Do you go for a jog next? Maybe a walk on the beach? In the woods? Where to you work? What do you drive? How long do you work? Include all of these plus any other details you can think of. Remember to both include people and places as well as senses and emotions. Make it as visceral as you can. That way all you have to do is close your eyes and step into your dream.

After you complete your script and find yourself back in bed concluding your dream day, put the script away. Now I recommend reading this daily until you can picture it without the script and then as often as you desire after that. The trick here is that it should always be fun, like you are escaping to that other reality. You may find yourself changing a few things as you go along, that is wonderful. adjust the script as you go along. You will notice certain opportunities begin to show up and your mind draws you in particular directions. Not to mention the time you spend visioning your dream life will have you feeling like you are on a vacation.

YOU ARE THE CEO

It is amazing how people will but more effort into a work project than a life project. I have the honor of dealing with plenty of entrepreneurs on a daily basis. I see these people take so long to decide who they want to work with, who they will surround themselves with and work 12 to 16 hour days perfecting and growing their business. Which is great. It shows they have the spirit and determination to succeed.

The funny thing is I seldom if ever see these or any other of my friends work this hard and give this much thought to their personal lives. Maybe it is time to treat our lives a little more like a business. This does not mean having our lives devoid of any emotion. Quite the opposite. Emotion is the currency of a successful life.

Let us look at a business. A successful business has a lot of features to it. Successful bottom line, fulfills a need to people, invests in research and development as well as marketing. A good deal of the success of any business has to do with the people in it, especially in charge of key positions.

Now let us look at a successful life. A successful life is measured by peace of mind and heart. We do that by helping others, or fulfilling a need. If we want our life business to grow we need to invest in research and development. That means reading things that will improve or expand us. We also need to market ourselves and our ideas. We also need to make some shrewd decisions as to what people we have in our life business. Remember some people belong in your heart, but not always in your life. Do not sacrifice your emotional well being out of a feeling of social obligation. We only have this one life we need to make the most of it!

Feel free to share your ideas for a successful life business in the comments below.

PROBLEM OR POSSIBLY?

Yesterday we spoke of our ability to choose happiness or sorrow. Sounds easy on paper (or computer or phone however you read this) In reality however, it is one of the most difficult challenges.

Enter the picture above. I hear so many people go on for hours explaining to me a problem and how bad it will affect their lives. When I ask them “What are you going to do now?”. Almost without fail I receive the same three word answer, “I don’t know”. So let me get this straight, you have spent enough time thinking of how bad it is to tell me about it for an hour, but when I inquire as to what solutions you might have explored you simply do not know.

I am not putting anyone down here. This used to be something I did quite often. On occasion, especially at the onset of a challenge I am still likely to do this. With every challenge and bit of bad news in life there is what I like to call a mourning period. Take a little time, have some self-pity. Notice I said a little time. You can say “this is not fair!” or maybe even “why me?”. Then realize life can not be fair. Sometimes it is just your turn. Everybody has things and periods in their life that just, in a technical term, suck. We all do, it is called life. It is what we do and what we choose to see in those challenges. That separate different kinds of people. It is a chance to show your true character. In fact, Les Brown, one of my favorite authors and speakers advises to never say you are having a bad day instead say you are having a character building day. It is a chance to show the world you are tougher than what life can throw at you. Perhaps it is a chance to let your friends have the satisfaction of helping you. We all like to help and feel we have been of use to someone, but are afraid to give someone else that opportunity.

Remember, problem or possibility it is all up to you.